Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun
by Bico
Summary: The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya: Whether it's between normalcy and adventure or love and your career, making choices is tough. Unfortunately for Kyon, when the person with the difficult choice is a god, sometimes the solution isn't so convenient.
1. Prologue

**Forward: This is the first Haruhi fanfic I've attempted. I only recently got into the series, reading the whole series of light novels a couple weeks ago after seeing the first season of the anime that I got from Netflix a couple months back. I really enjoyed the stories, though, and I couldn't help but take a crack at narrating as Kyon. His casual wit strikes me as very familiar, as I'm used to that kind of personality in my family. I've tried not to make him sound too verbose, though I'm afraid that I tend to slip into my own voice while narrating him and thus his vocabulary comes off as a little too advanced, perhaps. I've tried to fix it where I can, so hopefully it sounds enough like him to be believable. Also, I'd like to note that I know I make him extremely dense in certain cases. It's not so much that I really believe he's dense, but I think that in the novels he often plays ignorant to things he knows full well about, so even if he says things to make you think that he's missing something obvious, it's really just that he's uncomfortable with addressing the issue. So I hope you don't start banging your head when he goes from sharp wit to dunderhead, 'cause it's really all an act as far as I'm concerned. Also, in case any of you have something to say about Haruhi's out of character behavior, I'll just let you know that it happens to be a plot point. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my first foray into this particular fandom.**

**Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun  
**_(The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya)_

Prologue:

Some interpretations of quantum mechanics say that for any choice one makes, or for any possibility that exists, the universe splits to accommodate every outcome. Of course, Albert Einstein once famously countered: "God does not play dice." A certain esper I know would disagree, offering his empty wallet as proof. I, personally, had no sympathy for him on that occasion.

On the other hand, my experiences with Miss Asahina would tend to dispute that possibility, as they seem to have mastered the art of the stable time loop rather well. Of course, one could also point to my experience with Nagato's alternate reality as proof of separate timelines. Koizumi explained how it could work with a stable timeline, but the whole explanation just ended up confusing me as usual.

Well, I won't care about what happens in alternate timelines until I see a slider for myself.

It was a cold Friday evening in February when it all started. I had only recently recovered from Haruhi's Valentine's Day intrigues, not to mention the case of Michiru Asahina, who had now gone back to being plain old Mikuru in spite of losing a few days in the past. As usual, the SOS Brigade met in the Literature Club's club room, of which Yuki Nagato was the sole member and de facto president, but also our SOS Brigade Chief's passive inductee into our own illegal club.

Koizumi and I were playing yet another board game while sipping some of Miss Asahina's heavenly tea when the aforementioned Brigade Chief entered the room that day without her usual fervor. I was instantly concerned. Any time Haruhi Suzumiya wasn't bouncing off the walls, chances are she was coming up with some new horrors to deliver onto the world. The fact that she frequently glanced my direction did not sooth my fears at all. Please, Haruhi, keep me out of your schemes for once.

By the time Nagato closed her book, signaling the end of our meeting, nothing too strange had happened, aside from Haruhi's conflicted looks. We disbanded without any uproar, though I noticed before I left that Haruhi seemed to be staring after us with a strange look on her face.

"Kyon," Koizumi said to me as we were leaving the school grounds. "I just wanted to let you know that there has been a slight increase in Sealed Realities occurring since yesterday."

So we have a bunch of Shinjin trashing some alternate reality bubbles and threatening to destroy the world. I'd say I felt sorry for you for having to deal with her mess, but I really don't.

"It's not quite like that," Koizumi said. "These Sealed Realities are a bit different from usual. The Shinjin appearing in them seem less interested in wrecking the surroundings than they do in beating each other to a pulp. Honestly, we haven't had to do much other than watch them destroy each other. The Sealed Realities break down by themselves once that happens."

So you could say Haruhi is really beating herself up about something.

"You could say that. I'd like to consider myself an expert on Haruhi Suzumiya's mental state, but I think you know better than I that she was conflicted about something back there. My advice to you is to watch your back."

Coming from you, Koizumi, I'd almost think it were a threat. However, we parted ways after that and I began walking away from the steep hill that plagued my existence. It wasn't too long after, though, that I got a sudden call. Taking the cell phone out of my pocket I looked at the Caller ID. Sure enough, it was Haruhi.

"Hey, Kyon!" she said enthusiastically. "I've made up my mind."

Oh, good, maybe Haruhi would be so kind as to tell me what she's made up her mind about?

"Don't worry about that, right now," she said. "Listen, meet me at the usual place tomorrow at 8 pm. Don't be late or there'll be a penalty!"

She hung up the phone and I began walking again toward home. However, just a moment later, she called me back again.

"Kyon!" she said. "Um... about tomorrow..."

"Don't worry, I'll be at our usual spot at eight," I assured her. "I wouldn't want to get a penalty."

Haruhi giggled, which I felt was a bit odd, since usually her laughs are the kind that come right from the diaphragm, like a mad scientist. "The way you rack them up, I was beginning to think you liked being punished by me."

Saying something like that was not only wrong, but it was a good way to send the wrong impression to anyone who might overhear.

"Maybe," Haruhi conceded. "Anyway… I'd actually like you to meet me a few hours before. Say... at five?"

Well, I guess that was fine. I don't know why she was waffling on the time, though.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Just don't be late or there'll be a penalty!"

- - -

I met with Haruhi the next day right at five as agreed and she greeted me with a warm "Penalty!" Asking her why she had called me here without the other SOS Brigade members, she held up two tickets and said, "Well, it's weird, but I won these in a raffle on Thursday."

What was this? It sounded almost like Haruhi was asking me out on a date.

Haruhi's face was red with what I imagine was the cold. "It's not like that… I just don't know who else I would go with and I thought it would be a waste not to use them. Besides, if you come maybe I'll forget that penalty…"

I didn't say I wouldn't come. I supposed as long as I was already there I might as well make a day of it. Besides, I'm sure Koizumi would get all bent out of shape if I were to upset his goddess in any way.

"Thanks, Kyon!" Haruhi said, her smile shining brightly. "It starts at 8:30 tonight, but I figured I'd get you out here early so we could find you something nice and formal to wear. I'll even pay for it."

Something formal? Just where were we going, anyway?

"Oh," she stammered. "I-It's nothing, really. It's just a Princess Ball."

A "Princess Ball?" Oh no, there were absolutely no romantic overtones whatsoever about a guy and a girl going to a ball together on Saturday night. Not a bit. It didn't help my mood that I couldn't even dance.

"Don't worry about that, Kyon," she said. "I'll show you." She immediately began to drag me all over town. She spent over an hour shopping for the perfect outfit for me until she finally settled on one that made me feel like I was straight out of the Renaissance if Tetsuya Nomura had been a fashion designer back then.

By the time seven thirty came around I was exhausted. At this point, Haruhi had brought me to her house, which was interesting as I had never been there before. Her parents apparently weren't home at the time, so she sat me down in her living room and went to change into her own outfit. I could hardly wait to see what ridiculous thing she…

Okay, I'd just like to preface this by saying that I'm a healthy teenage male, and in spite of her incredible weirdness Haruhi has been ranked as an A class beauty by very reliable sources. It was only natural when she walked in wearing that dark basque-like top with gold patterning which showed off her sides quite nicely through the interwoven lace coupled with the long dress that split all the way up to her upper thigh on both sides, showing stocking-clad legs that looked even more toned than usual thanks to the lovely heels she was wearing… that my eyes would be irresistibly transfixed for a brief moment. And my refusal to uncross my legs or stand for the next couple minutes had nothing to do with it, either.

In any case, we departed for the ball shortly, her in her flattering outfit plus heavy jacket and me in my "princely" costume. We arrived at the ball shortly before eight and presented our tickets, earning entry as well as a few stares from the slightly more normally dressed patrons of the ball. Most of the men were dressed more appropriately in tuxedos while the women were nowhere near as provocatively dressed as Haruhi.

The evening went pretty normally, however, for a fancy dance like this. We had refreshments, danced (rather awkwardly considering my lack of coordination), and chatted pleasantly about… well… fairly normal things. We stayed for over three hours, and while it was fairly dull compared to the insanity in which Haruhi usually got me involved, I have to admit that spending that time with her was enjoyable. She was unusually pleasant and, while Asahina was most certainly the eternal idol of my heart, I have to say that, in terms of overall cuteness, Haruhi was putting up a good fight.

It was approaching midnight when we arrived back at her home. I had been forced to escort her there, but I wasn't going to complain too much about it. She turned to face me at the door, her eyes shining in the moonlight.

"I had a real good time, tonight, Kyon," she said. "At first I didn't like the thought of going to a ball. It sounded boring."

Then why ask me to go at all?

"But…" she looked down demurely. It was so out of character for her that I nearly fainted. "I guess as long as it's with you… even ordinary can be… well… extraordinary."

I was about to call her on the sappiness of that speech when she suddenly cut me off mid-snark. With her lips. I've kissed Haruhi Suzumiya before, I won't deny it. However, at the time there was an imminent Armageddon upon us and I had been told… well, it had been implied that it was the proper thing to do at that moment. Besides that, even if it had been enjoyable, I only remembered the first few seconds of it before I woke up on my bedroom floor with a rather unpleasant headache. However, only now can I confirm that Miss Suzumiya is as skilled in this art as she is in most of her other activities.

Her lips release mine with surprisingly little mess given how vigorously she had been working. She was a little out of breath and had the most adorable shy expression plastered on her face. "Right at midnight… it makes me feel a little like Cinderella…"

Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and now Cinderella. Was I one of the Brothers Grimm incarnate or just Walt Disney?

"I'm… I'm tempted to invite you in, Kyon."

I'm sure I've said this before, but I'm a normal adolescent male, and comments like that are fair bait for normal adolescent fantasies. I did my best to ignore them, as I'm sure that with Haruhi being the one doing the inviting, I would probably end up doing some tedious chore like fixing her heater.

"On the other hand, I really shouldn't do anything that might keep me from studying for that test on Monday. I was so busy recently that I haven't really looked at my notes."

Oh. I remember that, now. Come to think of it, I should probably be doing the same thing. I wasn't even really paying attention in class. With that, I left Haruhi at her door, still somewhat dazed by her sudden display. I wondered idly what had brought that on. Maybe it was the same urge that drove her to molest poor Miss Asahina nearly every day. In fact, this whole scenario seemed like it was lifted from some romance manga. It's likely she's just acting it out for laughs.

I got to my house awhile after totally exhausted. I had told my parents not to wait up for me, so I thankfully didn't have to bother with some insipid debriefing before going to bed. I climbed right in, only managing to strip off my shirt and unbutton my pants before hitting the pillow and drifting off into dreamland.


	2. Chapter 1

**Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun  
**_(The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya)_

Chapter 1:

The next morning I got a call from Haruhi bright and early. What's the deal waking me up so soon? Didn't she need sleep?

"Don't worry about that," she said. "Just meet at the usual spot at ten. I mean it this time or you'll get a double penalty!"

That was strange. In any case, I met up with the entire SOS Brigade at our usual meeting place. As usual, I was the last one there, but I was rather surprised at the looks I was getting from the other brigadiers. Did they know about Haruhi's and my outing last night?

"Kyon!" Haruhi said. "You're late, again! Double penalty."

Maybe it wasn't such a good thing for Haruhi to like me; she seemed a bit more strict than usual. "Haruhi, didn't we have to study, today?"

"You may need to, but I have no use for studying!"

Well, I guess that answers that, though she certainly seemed concerned last night. So what exactly are we doing here, anyway?

"After last night," she said, "I realized that we need more excitement!"

Last night? And here I thought she said it wasn't that dull. So what kind of excitement was she talking about? Another rousing game of whodunit or perhaps a search for ghosts?

"We already searched for ghosts," Haruhi said. "But, no, I realized that things like that just aren't exciting enough. I mean something to really get our blood pumping! Something like…"

Skydiving! I don't know what insane spirit has possessed Haruhi's already insane head, but this… this was insane. We were 4 ¼ km in the air, contained within the Tsuruya family's private aircraft. Miss Tsuruya had given us all a brief tutorial on skydiving and had just opened the hatch to let us jump to our doom.

"I was really surprised you wanted to do this, though," she said. "Normally I'd advise against doing something like this right off the bat, but Haru-nyan was so insistent I just couldn't refuse."

Why the Hell not? Granted, no one in the SOS Brigade could refuse, either, no matter how loudly we protested. Poor Miss Asahina was clinging to Tsuruya's leg with a vice-like grip. Don't worry, Miss Asahina, I won't let anything happen to you, even if I have to shield you from the impact with my own body!

"Sorry, but that's not happening," Haruhi interjected. "You're going down first!" I would have refused, but before I knew it she had grabbed me by the arm and literally threw me out the door, giving me only a brief reminder. "Remember, 60 seconds then pull!"

That was how I ended up in midair kilometers away from certain death. Not long afterward, I noticed out the corner of my tear-blurred eyes that Koizumi had caught up with me. "Hey, Kyon," he greeted me.

"Wh-wha?" I managed to choke out.

"I was surprised that you didn't meet us, yesterday. It was quite shocking to all of us, actually," he said.

Wait, what? When was I supposed to meet you guys? I was only meeting Haruhi last night. At that point, Koizumi motioned that it was time to pull on our parachutes, so we did, slowing abruptly. "After we left the club room on Friday," he yelled to me. "We were told to meet at the usual place at 8 pm. Suzumiya Haruhi had apparently found a very detailed description of a mysterious girl inside a mansion who appeared every Saturday night. We traveled to the outskirts of town to see it."

"Hold it!" I shouted back. "She told me to meet her at five in the usual place!"

"Did she?" Koizumi asked, puzzled. "Well… it was strange, as she didn't seem very annoyed that you weren't there. Not only that, but usually when you displease her in such a way, I get reports of Sealed Reality increases. However, that wasn't the case at the time. Maybe… has she lost interest in you, Kyon?"

"What do you mean, lost interest?" I said. "I'm trying to tell you I was actually with Haruhi yesterday. From five until midnight!" We were now approaching the ground quickly. I momentarily forgot the conversation and clenched my eyes shut as I landed. The landing was rather rough, actually. I ended up rolling end over end on the ground before finally settling on my back. I could see Nagato in her parachute close to landing, as well as Haruhi and Asahina further up.

"Did you say you were with Haruhi?" Kyon asked. "Up until midnight? That's very strange as we were at that house until after midnight. You're sure you didn't dream it?"

That was impossible. There was no way I could have dreamed all that happened that night. Especially the last part.

Nagato had landed at this point and said, "Last night we encountered a data space anomaly fabricated by the _Macrospatial_Quantum _Cosmic_Existence, presumably a trap specifically designed to lure Suzumiya Haruhi. We thwarted the anomaly; however, it may be that this situation is a continuation of its machinations."

Thank you for your ever precise and so-easy-to-understand explanation Nagato. I did recognize the name of that opposing species of data entity that had interfered with our winter co-ed, though. If that thing was involved, it might explain why Haruhi seemed to be in two places at the same time. Before I could ask any more about it, Haruhi ran up, dragging Miss Asahina behind her.

"Wasn't that just awesome?" she asked. "Let's do it again!"

There was no way I was jumping out of another plane. That was a little too much excitement bordering on the suicidal. Not that hanging out with Haruhi was any less suicidal, anyway, but this was a bit too in-your-face.

"Geez, Kyon," Haruhi whined. "You're always such a buzz-kill. I'm getting tired of you holding me back!" She glared in an annoyed manner at me, then snapped her fingers. "Fine, anyone who wants to go, come with me. For the rest of you, you're dismissed."

I was a bit dubious about this, but I certainly wasn't going to do that again. Miss Asahina certainly didn't deserve that kind of scare again.

- - -

I didn't see Haruhi again until the next day at school. Asahina had abandoned Haruhi to her adrenaline high along with me, naturally, but Nagato and Koizumi had humored her awhile longer. Not surprising to me as Koizumi was a natural yes-man and I'm pretty sure Nagato had absolutely no fear.

That Monday morning, though, I found Haruhi looking very low-key with her nose in her text books. She was so unconcerned with her test yesterday, I wondered why she seemed so intent, now.

"Quiet," she told me. "I'm busy."

Well, I hadn't heard her so irate since the first time I tried to talk with her. Maybe she was still angry with me after leaving her, yesterday. Well, I don't know why I should feel bad about that. I know that Nagato could probably have saved me if my parachute had failed, but Haruhi didn't know that. She just didn't consider anyone else's feelings. Whatever. It wasn't my concern. She was like that the rest of the day, not even getting up to patrol the school as usual.

"Are you okay, Haruhi?" I asked her over lunch. "Listen... if I hadn't feared for my life, I would have been happy to stick around yesterday."

Haruhi looked up from her notes with an annoyed look on her face. "I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, I won't be coming to the SOS Brigade meeting, today. You can do what you want."

Well, that's fine. So are you just going to leave it to me to tell everyone else since you haven't left the classroom, today?

It should suffice to say that, yes, that task did fall to me. When class ended, I walked to the Literature Club room and opened the door to tell my fellow members the good news. I was very surprised at what I saw.

"Hey, Kyon-chan! I've been waiting for you!"

It was Suzumiya Haruhi. She bounded toward me, tackling me back out into the hall. I looked over her ponytail and into the clubroom to see Koizumi and Miss Asahina staring at us. Haruhi let go of me and grabbed my hand, bouncing back into the room.

"I started making this for you, yesterday," she said, grabbing a box on the table. "It was my first time doing something like this, but I hope you like it!"

I took the box from her, but at that moment, I noticed her armband. It was pink, today, and written on it... well, they were not the words "Brigade Chief," nor anything similar. The characters written on her arm were as follows: "Kyon's Girl."

Haruhi, I hope no one has seen you with that.

"Well, no," she said to my relief. "I mean, besides these guys and the people I passed on the street and in the halls and when I went to the store..." I was suddenly much less relieved.

"K-Kyon-kun," Miss Asahina said shyly. "I-I wish you both happiness..." Oh, Miss Asahina, please don't listen to anything this mentally unbalanced girl says. You're the only girl for me!

"Yes, Kyon. Please take care of Miss Suzumiya for me," Koizumi told me with that infuriating smile. "I'm leaving it up to you." Dammit, you bastard, this isn't funny at all.

"Oh, that reminds me!" she said. "Open up the gift, hurry!"

I opened it, fearful that some kind of embarrassing item would be revealed. I was correct, as I pulled out a sweater, very finely knit I'll admit, but it was pink, for one. Not only that, it had a big heart emblazoned across it with my name written within. Was this some kind of joke?

"I'm completely serious," Haruhi protested. "I only finished it a couple hours ago. I skipped school just to do it for you."

Wait, she skipped school? Then who was that in our classroom just now? I was really beginning to get confused. Maybe this was the Macrospacial... well, you know.

Regardless, Haruhi made me sit down beside her, and she spent the rest of the hour with her hand either on my hand or on my thigh, which was rather disconcerting. It wasn't quite as strange as the fact that she also spent that time chatting with the other members in a genuinely interested and considerate manner. She even tried to strike up a conversation with Nagato.

The end of the hour came again with the closing of Nagato's book, and we disbanded, with the exception of Haruhi and me. She insisted on walking me home. "Haruhi," I said to her as we were halfway to my home."

"Yes, Kyon-chan?"

"I was wondering... what exactly made you... ah... do this?" I asked, gesturing at her armband and the sweater she forced me to put on.

"No one made me, stupid," Haruhi said. That certainly sounded like Haruhi, all right. "I like you. I think I've liked you for a long time." That was the thing that was out of place.

"It's not that," Haruhi said. "I didn't really know what I was feeling at first. I mean, when you first started talking to me, I thought you were just another stupid guy, though you did remind me of someone I had a crush on a long time ago." Her cheeks were red again. Was it that cold out, this afternoon?

"Of course, when you figured out my plans, I realized you were a clever stupid guy!" Even when she liked me she was doing this kind of thing. How I wished I could be spending this time with Miss Asahina, who would be demure and cute, and who would endearingly reply "Classified information" to just about anything I asked.

"I guess that's when I started feeling like you were special. No one else had ever done that, but even more impressive was... well, you were the one who inspired me to create the SOS Brigade. You were the one who brought fun back into my life."

It was just a lame, off-hand comment. I really wasn't even thinking about it, I just felt like I should say something to make you feel better.

"Even so, you knew me better than any of those other idiots who tried to talk to me. You always had good ideas, and I felt like even if I rejected the rest of the world, you were the one person I didn't want to ever change."

I'd figured that part out, though it still confuses me.

"And... after that dream..."

Uh, oh. I had a sinking feeling that she was about to reference that incident. I'd tried not to think about it too much, because to be honest even I was unsure about what had really happened. What I did back there, it was completely by impulse!

"I dreamed that we were all alone and the world was falling apart around us," she said. "I knew that the world would be reborn better than before, but you kept saying you wanted to go back to the way things were. At first I didn't understand, but then you... you kissed me." She frowned at that. "And without my permission, too! It was very unbecoming of a subordinate! But... when you did I knew there was one good reason to keep faith in this world."

I'm flattered, really. But that still doesn't explain it well enough for me. Have you really liked me all this time and not said anything about it? That doesn't sound like the Haruhi I know.

"Idiot," she said. "I already told you that I wasn't sure. I've never really felt this way before. There've been a few hot guys I dated. They were the ones I kept around a week when I was feeling really randy."

Oh, God, please don't say things like that to me.

"But... I dunno, I didn't feel all hot and bothered around you. It's more like I couldn't get you off my mind. I trust you completely, and I hate the thought of you not paying attention to me. And I just get this warm feeling all over when I think about you."

She smiled brightly. "I remember this winter when we were trying to find out way back to Tsuruya's cabin. I had this hallucination, I guess. We ended up in a big house, and had to spend the night. Before I went to sleep, though, I thought you came into the room."

She gave me a look that reminded me somewhat of Koizumi's look on that particular occasion. It was a bit less creepy coming from a girl, but not much given that it was Haruhi. "You tried to do some naughty things to me. At first... well, I was pretty surprised when you did what you did in there. After a minute or so I realized what was going on, so I popped you one, and you ran away. To be honest, I got this weird thought afterward that I would have liked it if you'd stuck around, but it wasn't even really you, anyway..." she laughed. "It's really funny to have a hallucination within a hallucination, isn't it?"

Yes, it would be, but I can't help but feel that we're getting off topic.

"Yeah, well, I think that's when the idea crossed my mind that I might have some kind of feelings for you. I didn't want to bring it up because I'd rather you be my friend and subordinate in the SOS Brigade than have something happen to where you didn't feel the same way and you wouldn't want to be with me anymore." Her face looked dejected from the mere thought and I had the most insane notion to gather her up in a loving embrace. The saner part of my brain repressed this, but just barely.

"I even tried to tell you this Valentine's Day. With the chocolate." She gave me a small smile. "It was so embarrassing. Giving you that honmei chocolate, I thought you'd say something about it..."

Lover's chocolate? As I recall, the simple descriptive word "chocolate" was the only thing written on that homemade sweet. I do recall that you ordered Asahina to specify that her chocolate was giri (obligation) chocolate, though.

"Yeah, well," she said, frowning. "I love Mikuru-chan, but I don't like the way you two look at each other as it is."

Aha.

"Anyway, I specifically put giri chocolate on Koizumi's, but left it off of yours. I... well, the other girls were right there, and I certainly wasn't just going to broadcast something that embarrassing!" her eyes became shifty all of a sudden. "I think Mikuru might have figured it out. Yeah, I remember her looking at them before I wrapped them up and then giving that moe look like she was about to cry."

I can assure you that Nagato probably noticed, as well, but she's not exactly one to cry about it. Why would you think I'd want to compare my chocolates with Koizumi, anyway? I'd rather not be compared to him in any way. Smug bastard probably got plenty of honmei chocolates from the girls in his class. Curse these average looks of mine.

We had just about reached my house at this point, so we settled into what was, for me, an uncomfortable silence. She didn't seem to feel quite the same as she clung to my arm. Funny, I'd suggested she do just that back in that Sealed Reality. Not that I had really wanted her to do that at the time, I was just teasing is all.

Whatever. She walked me to the door of my place, but when I opened the door to enter, she didn't let go of my arm. I turned to see her looking expectantly at me with shining eyes. Don't tell me she wanted me to…? Well, I guess if it's for the fate of the world, I should probably do something.

Fate looked kindly on me this day, I decided as my phone began to ring. Haruhi looked disappointed as I looked at the Caller ID. It was Yuki Nagato. I pressed the answer button and held the phone to my ear.

"….."

"Nagato?" I asked.

"Your presence is requested," she breathed softly.

Requested by whom, exactly? Not that it particularly mattered, I suppose. I put my shoes back on and headed toward her apartment, then, hoping that whatever reason she called me didn't involve having to save the world. That's right, Nagato invited me over to drink tea and watch anime all the time. No, given the current circumstances, I had the feeling things were about to get more complicated.

"Hey, is that Kyon?" I heard a voice say in the background. "Tell him 'hi' for me." That voice sounded very familiar, but that was…

"Haruhi Suzumiya has requested that I say 'hi' for her. 'Hi.'"

Well, that was a bit literal, Nagato, so… wait, Haruhi?!

"Eh? What is it, Kyon-chan?" Haruhi asked. The Haruhi standing in front of me, that is.

"S-sorry, Haruhi," I said, "I need to go to Nagato's place real quick." With that, I began to dash off.

"W-wait a minute, how do you know where Yuki lives?" Haruhi hollered after me.

Upon arriving at Nagato's apartment, I was buzzed in per usual. I hesitated on opening her door. This had to be some kind of horrible nightmare. I closed my eyes and repeated that thought in my head a few times and then walked in.

"Hey, Kyon, what's up?"

Haruhi Suzumiya. She was curled up in the corner of Nagato's living room with manga and light novels strewn about her. It looked like she was in training to become as much a bibliophile as Nagato, though she still had a ways to go judging by the material.

So what was going on here?

"Haruhi Suzumiya has been here since I arrived from our meeting today. She was interested in borrowing some of my lighter reading material."

So these were Nagato's? I hadn't figured her for reading such things, though maybe she just went through them too quickly to last through a school day. Nagato's reading habits aside, though, just what was a Haruhi doing at her apartment when I had just left another Haruhi at my doorstep? Maybe… maybe somehow Haruhi had given herself super speed or learned how to do Instant Transmission. No, that was stupid. Maybe one of these Haruhi's was a member of the Quantum guys impersonating her. But you'd think Nagato would have caught on.

"Kyon-chan!" Haruhi's voice suddenly came through the intercom. "Kyon-chan, are you up there with Yuki? You'd better not be two-timing me, you bastard, or it's the triple death penalty!"

Let's not consider how, exactly, she could kill me three times. I have a feeling she would find a way. On the other, hand, I looked over at the Haruhi already in the room. She simply looked up at me with a weird look on her face. "What, do you have a girlfriend, now? Sounds pretty tsundere to me."

Yes, that would describe you rather well, Haruhi.

"Aah!" Haruhi's voice exclaimed from the intercom. "I'm coming up, now. Don't do anything weird to Yuki, got it?"

Damn, she was probably going to use the same method she did when getting up here back when we investigated Miss Asakura's disappearance, though it was no mystery to Nagato and me. What would happen if she came up here and saw an identical person standing right there? Well, she'd probably come to the natural conclusion and figure it was her polar twin (I hesitate to say "evil," as Haruhi's own moral standing was ambiguous as it was), a pod person, or a slider from another dimension. Well, that would be the natural conclusion for Haruhi, anyway.

I rushed out the door to see Haruhi running down the hallway toward me, her ponytail bouncing sensually on top of her head, swaying invitingly with the breeze. "Haruhi!" I said. "Wait a second!" As would any Haruhi, she chose to ignore me and instead performed a flying kick to my face.

"You jerk!" she cried, straddling my body with her legs and grabbing my collar. "You're going behind my back to fool around with Yuki, aren't you? I should have known you weren't being honest when I asked you about your relationship with her back then!"

Apparently she had forgotten that this exchange occurred during what she was supposed to think was a hallucination.

"And the way she always stares at you when she thinks no one is looking!"

Did she? Well, I'm a bit flattered, but I think you might be taking that a bit far.

"And how you're always talking to her…"

Always? Anyway, what's wrong with talking to Nagato when she's a fellow Brigade member? You've definitely got the wrong idea.

She stopped ranting for a moment and pouted. If she thought being cute was going to help her… well, she was probably right, but I didn't like it. "Anyway," I tried to explain to her, "I just had to come over here because… Nagato has a friend over and… this friend really likes fighters. I happened to have Tekken 6, so I brought it over for her to play!"

"Oh," she said thoughtfully. Then she frowned again. "Wait a minute! You didn't even go into your house! Don't expect me to believe that you were carrying Tekken 6 around all d—"

Nagato's door suddenly opened and Haruhi appeared. "Kyon! Thanks for the game," she held up case for Tekken 6. Hey! That really was my game; it even had my name written in the corner. "I haven't played a fighter like this for awhile, it should be fun." She looked down at Haruhi sitting on top of me. "Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting something. Hmm… yeah, that's definitely tsundere behavior." She then closed the door.

So did she not notice that it was herself sitting on top of me, or was she just not surprised?

The Haruhi still sitting on top of me looked a bit stunned. Perhaps she had noticed. I, personally, didn't know how she wouldn't. She stood up and backed off of me, allowing me to rise. "Tsu-tsundere…" she stammered. "Hm… I guess I overreacted, then."

Well, I guess the only person Haruhi would listen to really was herself, but did she really not care that there were two of her? "Maybe you should go home and get some rest," I said.

"Yeah… I guess I am a bit tired," she said. "I'll see you later, Kyon-chan. Sorry about that… ah…" she poked her temple, indicating on herself where she had kicked me.

No, that's no problem, Haruhi. I get hit in the head by flying schoolgirls all the time. I'd almost be disappointed if you hadn't done it. Thankfully, she decided to go quietly, and I headed back into Nagato's apartment.

Haruhi was there playing my game, though I was at a loss as to where the television and game console had come from. I looked at Nagato and she nodded imperceptively. Apparently, she had used her data manipulation abilities both to transport my stuff here and to change the perception of the respective Haruhies. At least that's what I had guessed, and since Nagato seems to be as close to a god as one could get without being Haruhi, I assumed she knew that.

I wondered why this Haruhi was so wrapped up in books and video games.

"It's better than going out into the real world," she said absentmindedly while continuing to play. "Going to school, attending clubs, going on trips… it's all just too boring. I'd rather read a fantasy book where anything can happen."

Well that did sound quite a bit like Haruhi, too. I could certainly imagine her becoming engrossed in some fantasy story. However, the girl I knew wouldn't use fantasy to escape real life. She would bring fantasy into real life.

I sat across from Nagato and spoke quietly with her, though I doubt Haruhi was paying much attention anyway. "What do you think, Nagato? Is one of them an imposter?"

The pale humanoid interface remained silent for a moment, then responded. "The Haruhi Suzumiyas display the same data flares that characterize the original Haruhi Suzumiya's person. However, the parameters of each Haruhi Suzumiya's data have been altered."

Altered? In what way?

"Undetermined," Nagato said. "However, it seems to be linked to the subjects' unusual behavior."

I see. Here's another good one. How is it that there are more than one Haruhi Suzumiya around, which I can only assume has been the case since at least Saturday, and possibly as early as Friday, and yet they don't seem to have noticed each other?

"Possibility: the Haruhi Suzumiyas have been mentally conditioned to ignore each others' presence."

It seemed to me that something like that would be hard to ignore. Anyway, why would they have noticed each other in the hall? Okay, altered perception, but even so, one certainly heard the other's voice.

"Possibility: the Haruhi Suzumiyas have never been in the same space at one time."

That didn't seem possible. They would have had to have gone to sleep at some point. At least, that's what I would assume. They would have had to go to bed, sometime.

"Possibility: when the Haruhi Suzumiyas reach critical proximity, they are reintegrated."

I see. Then they would separate again when she wanted to make more trouble for me. In any case, that also seemed unlikely. The two Haruhies just now were close enough to see each other and yet didn't reintegrate. It was doubtful we would find out unless we did some kind of investigation, anyway.

"Perhaps a scan of Haruhi Suzumiya's dwelling would uncover new data concerning this phenomenon."

Maybe, but I didn't think I wanted to deal with that other Haruhi quite so soon. I was going to go back home and forget about this crazy situation for awhile. Apparently, she had gotten on okay for at least two days like this, so it should be okay to leave it until tomorrow. Perhaps I should stop listening to my procrastinatory side, though. It was this kind of thing that got me in trouble come exam time, and it was exactly this attitude that caused me the next helping of trouble as well.


	3. Chapter 2

**Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun  
**_(The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya)_

Chapter 2:

"Kyooonn…"

I tried to ignore the voice. I don't know why my little sister always had to come into my room uninvited and wake me up in increasingly rude ways. Granted, it was my mom who asked her to wake me up for school, but she could just knock.

"Ooh, Kyo~n."

My eyes opened and I noticed there was a very dim light coming through the window. The sun must just be rising. Why would she be trying to wake me up this early? Also, it wasn't usually like her to crawl into bed with me and... snuggle. She also felt much bigger than I remembered. Was she sucking on my ear? I turned my head slowly only to find myself centimeters away from Haruhi's face. "Morning, Kyon-chan."

I sat up and shook my head, trying to clear my head which was as murky as the waters of the Orochi. I was probably still dreaming. I looked back at the girl sprawled beside me in my bed again. She was definitely still there, clad in one of my button down shirts and I hoped to heaven that wasn't all. What was she doing here?

I looked at Shamisen who looked back at me lazily from the foot of my bed. He wasn't going to help me on this, obviously. I scratched my head. "I can't even begin to describe just how out of character this is..."

Haruhi sighed. "I know... but... I've always wanted to... be with you like this."

That really doesn't explain why... or how you're in my bed right now.

This insane, half naked girl threw herself on me, startling Shamisen off the bed, and said quite bluntly. "Kyon-chan! A girl has needs, you know. Now are you going to make out with me or what?"

Simply put, no. I escaped her clutches and joined my cat on the floor. I grabbed her clothes, thankfully finding no panties among the mix, though I wasn't surprised to find the bra. Having her pressed so close against me had already solved that mystery. "Listen, you should get dressed and get out of here. My parents are generally lenient, but I don't want to have to explain to them why you're in my room and wearing my shirt."

Haruhi frowned petulantly. Don't give me that look, now. You may have a grade A body, and that body may be half naked, and you may have a really hot ponytail right now, but that pitiful face does nothing to change my mind. "Ah... so, you didn't happen to sleep here all night, did you?" Just to be clear, this wasn't changing my mind, I just thought this might be a good time to probe for information.

"No," she said. "I tried to sleep at my place, but I just felt these urges that couldn't be satisfied. I came here a couple hours ago and got in through the window."

I was going to have to start locking that window at nights from now on. "Did you happen to see any other yous while you were at home, by the way?" Subtle, Kyon, that was really subtle. When the hell did I start calling myself by that stupid nickname in my internal monologues, anyway?

Haruhi blinked. "Mm, no. That would be kind of weird, wouldn't it?" She smiled. "Oh, I see. You're just teasing me, Kyon-chan! You know, normally I'd be annoyed, but I know you're just doing it because you're embarrassed and trying to distract me. It's kind of cute."

Well, there was that, but if only you knew. In any case, I knew now that this Haruhi had been at home last night. I just needed to find out if the other Haruhi or Haruhies had also been home, and then we might be closer to solving this.

Meanwhile, Haruhi had decided to slink off my bed and saunter over to me. "Kyon-chan," she said, her voice going up in pitch as she tried to sound cute. Actually, she just ended up sounding like some catty little anime girl. "Don't be embarrassed. I'll do anything to make you happy." I backed up as she pressed against me, and she ended up pinning me to the wall. "I mean anything, Kyon-chan." She said that with the determined eyes that told me she was dead serious about that.

Now, I'm sure I have no need to remind you that I am a healthy teenage male, but that was the creepiest thing I had ever heard come out of Haruhi's—or anyone's, for that matter—mouth. "Haruhi," I said, trying to calm her down. "You know, if you want to make it to school, today, you might want to leave now to get ready..."

"Aw, Kyon-chan," Haruhi whined. "School's no fun. I want to hang out with you, all day."

I understood that, but I was going to school after all. Wouldn't she like to go to school if it meant hanging out with me, there? She would sit behind me the whole day, after all.

Realization dawned on Haruhi's face. "That's right! Well, I guess I should get ready, then." She gathered up her clothes and frowned at me. "Hey, what are you doing? I'm going to change."

Well, that was fine, I guess. Go ahead.

"You mean," her face turned a brighter red. "You... do you want to see all of me?"

Wait, so you were fine with offering to do "anything" to make me happy, but now you're shy about changing? Again, I found this strange as she'd never had a problem changing in front of other men, and yet whenever I was there she insisted I leave.

"Well, that's because I don't care about any other guys. I care about what you think about my body," she said. "Besides... I always had a bra on before..."

Oh, right. I had completely forgotten about that at the time. I certainly had no interest in seeing Haruhi nude, though her figure was certainly pleasing to the eye. That the body belonged to Haruhi made it somewhat less appealing however. It was nothing compared to Miss Asahina's, anyway.

"I'm leaving," I told her, opening the door and walking out into the hallway.

Moments later, she also came out, fully dressed and that ponytail bouncing cheerfully behind her. I had a feeling there was a reason this particular Haruhi was sporting that particularly attractive hair style. Even if she didn't suspect that our excursion into her Sealed Reality in which I confessed my peculiar weakness was a dream, I had told her the next morning that I thought the ponytail looked good on her. She had looked at me with annoyance at the time, but maybe there was a reason she had put it up like that aside from mere coincidence.

No, we won't dwell on that. I walked Haruhi out to the living room, but much to my surprise and horror, I heard a door open and shut behind us.

"Kyon?" a sleepy voice said. "What're you doing up?"

It was my little sister. She always got up before me and woke me up with a hyper attitude, though it was a relief to note that when she did just wake up she looked about as bad as I felt each morning. "Hello," I said lamely.

My sister's tired eyes gazed right through Haruhi for several moments before they seemed to come into focus. "Huh? Hey, isn't that...?"

"Hahaha, yes," I said, a bit panicked. "Haruhi just... ah... came over early to give me some notes for school!" Hopefully my sister wasn't yet alert enough to realize how ridiculous that was.

"Mm," she mumbled, seeming to accept this. Then she noticed something else. "Hey, that armband you're wearing..."

"Oh, you like it?" Haruhi asked joyfully, bringing her arm around to show off the pink cloth. Damn, she was still wearing that thing. This would not be good.

My little sister's eyes widened before her mouth creeped into a wide grin. "Kyon's got a girlfriend!"

I tried to hush my sister as she sang that unfortunate phrase over and over again while Haruhi stood with chest puffed in pride. If she kept this up she was going to wake our parents, and I certainly didn't want to explain this to them.

My efforts to quiet the tiny bundle of endorphins and adrenaline seemed pretty much futile, though. Instead, I shooed Haruhi quickly out the door, promising I'd see her soon. It was a good thing I did, too, as my parents, having been roused from their slumber by my sister's noisiness made their way groggily into the living room barely a minute after I had gotten her out the door.

When asked what my sister was singing about, I denied any knowledge and suggested they schedule her for a CAT scan. I then bribed my sister never to mention this incident again, though I somehow think she got the much better part of the bargain.

Before leaving for school, I called Nagato and asked if the otaku Haruhi had left last night.

"....."

"Haruhi Suzumiya exited the apartment building three hours fifty two minutes forty three seconds after you, with the intention of returning to her domicile for recuperation."

So she had been home that night, too. That meant that the two Haruhies had probably been in the same house at the same time. That meant they had to have been in the same space at some point. Again I wondered how they hadn't run into each other before, and more importantly how we were going to fix this. I don't think I could deal with such an affectionate Haruhi much longer.

As I trudged my way up that accursed hill, those two guys joined me. Yeah, you know the ones by now. Taniguchi clapped me on the back in an overly friendly gesture. He was commonly annoying in that way, and the only reason he and I hung out was because Kunikida had become, for some inconceivable reason, his friend. As Kunikida and I had known each other quite well in junior high, it had been only natural for Taniguchi to hang around as well..

"So, Kyon," he said. "I heard an interesting rumor yesterday."

You're better off not listening to rumors as they are at best inaccurate and at worst completely made up.

"It was about you and Haruhi."

I can then assure you that it is completely made up.

"Is it true that Haruhi had an arm band on that said 'Kyon's Girl?'"

Curse you, Suzumiya! Now my reputation was going to be irreparable. As if I didn't have enough trouble when everyone assumed I was going out with my best friend in junior high.

"Well, Kyon," Kunikida began. Just great. Why is it that the quiet intelligent guy only speaks up when he has something embarrassing to say. "You were the only guy who Miss Sasaki hung out with like that. As I recall, she even gave you some homemade chocolate on Valentine's Day."

It was no wonder I had completely forgotten about that holiday, this year. It was nothing but trouble. Yes, Sasaki had given me chocolate that day, and was the only girl who gave me some, but it was strictly giri chocolate. Friends only.

"Aren't you the only guy she gave chocolate to that day at all, though?" Kunikida said. "Besides, did she say it was obligatory? I don't remember seeing anything written on there that specified..."

Well, no, she didn't specifically say, but she wasn't the type to be coy about things. Additionally, the only reason I was the only guy who got anything from her is because I was the only guy who talked with her without trying to get into her pants. She normally didn't believe in the consumerist notions and sentimental superstitions of Valentine's Day, anyway, and only gave me something because she thought it would be kind to do something like that for her only real guy friend.

"Still, it sounds like this babe had some special feelings for you," Taniguchi said in his naturally lascivious manner.

I really didn't think it was necessary to start on some tangent about an alleged love interest I was probably never going to see again, but at least we had gotten away from talking about Haruhi and her love band.

"But, anyway, about Suzumiya and that love band of hers…" Taniguchi said. Damn, sometimes I swear everyone can read my inner monologue. "Here they come, now."

"Kyon-chan!" Haruhi was screaming at the top of her lungs while she ran full tilt up the hill. How in the world could she sprint like that up such a steep incline, anyway? I suppose a god could even have the power of Yuki Yamaguchi for herself if she so wished. "Hey, Kyon-chan," she said when she slowed to a walk beside me.

"Hmm." What now, Taniguchi? "So it's Kyon-_chan_, now is it?"

"Are you jealous, Taniguchi?" she asked bluntly. "Though it's not hard for anyone to outlast you…"

Haruhi, you aren't helping me, here.

"H-hey," Taniguchi said, blushing. "What is this? Are you trying to say you really are…"

"She's not saying anything," I told him. This was starting to get out of hand. I needed a way to diffuse this rumor about Haruhi and me before people started really believing that we were an item. "You see," I said quietly, pulling Taniguchi and Kunikida out of Haruhi's earshot. "You remember the movie the SOS Brigade made for the festival last year, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Taniguchi said. "That one where you dragged us all the way out to some park just so I could nearly drown!"

I cleared my throat, trying to communicate a need for discretion on his part. "Yeah, that's right. The thing is, Haruhi has her heart set on a sequel." This was true, and Haruhi had dropped comments about it sporadically since the New Year began, though we probably wouldn't do anything about it at least until after hopefully passing our final exams.

"The thing is, Haruhi wanted more romance in this new movie. As you know, however, she has never really had a romantic relationship, her boyfriends usually lasting no more than a couple weeks and at best a very few less than ideal dates. Because of this, she has decided that it would be best to do some more research on this. Since we're friends, she thought it would be best that she act as my girlfriend for awhile."

"I see," Kunikida said. "So it's method acting, is it? I guess that would explain the gaudy armband. No girl would wear such an obvious advertisement unless it was meant as farce."

Taniguchi nodded, looking the part of the wise sage. "Yes, and because you're just friends, there's no chance that you might accidentally end up with some kind of relationship upgrade after a series of 'will they or won't they' moments fueled by unresolved sexual tension…"

To think that Taniguchi could speak as incomprehensibly as Koizumi. He really is SOS Brigade filler material. "That's right, and in order to keep in character, it's important that we keep up the masquerade for now, so don't mention that it's an act, even to Haruhi or me from now on."

"You can count on us," Taniguchi said confidently. "I'm not the type to play the meta guy, anyway."

Meanwhile, Haruhi of course had grown suspicious with our whispering and decided to interject. "Hey, what are you guys whispering about?"

Oh, it's nothing, Haruhi. I was just telling the guys here how wonderful it is to have such a beautiful, intelligent, and caring Brigade Leader.

Haruhi beamed. "Well, of course it is!"

"Yeah," Taniguchi said. "Kyon here is always talking you up, Suzumiya. Even when he first met you he wouldn't shut up about how hot you were and how he wanted to ask you out. I told him you were kind of strange, but he just thought it made you more attractive."

Putting aside for a moment that your story is nothing but lies and exaggeration, saying such a thing definitely crosses the line of appropriate subject matter. Even if my story about method acting were true, that kind of talk would certainly start to give Haruhi the wrong kind of ideas.

It seemed to satisfy Haruhi, however, as she puffed out her chest and laughed heartily. It was, of course, natural that I thought that wasn't it? At least, that's what she claimed, though I noticed the wattage of her smile had increased about tenfold, whatever the implications of that might be. In any case, Haruhi and I made our way into the school without further incident.

It was only once in the school, that I realized the mistake I had made. Upon entering classroom 1-5, my eyes habitually drifted toward the seat directly behind mine. There sat a familiar girl with her nose firmly in a notebook, probably once again obsessively going over yesterday's lecture.

I froze, seeing the studious Haruhi turning her head toward me. I lifted my arm, blocking the identical girl behind me from entering or looking into the room.

"Hey, Kyon-chan, what are you doing?"

I'm ashamed to say I panicked and had no response to her question. I just grabbed her and ran down the hallway, pulling her as far away from that classroom as possible. What would happen if two Haruhies actually saw each other? I don't know that the twin excuse would go over as easily as it did with Tsuruya concerning Miss Asahina. Even ignoring how something like Haruhi seeing a clone of herself could be explained, what if they touched each other and blew up?

I pulled Haruhi through a random door and shut it behind us, breathing heavily. "That… that was close."

"Kyon-chan," Haruhi said nervously. "Why… why did you bring me in here?"

I looked around. Linoleum was everywhere. This was a bathroom. Not only that, judging by the urinals, this was a boys' bathroom. The way things were going, it was like I was in some kind of low-brow romantic-comedy light novel. Or, at least, a bad fanfiction of one. By the way, this was not feeling too romantic on my part.

"So," Haruhi said with the hint of a blush on her face. "What did you want?"

"Well, Haruhi," I faltered, wishing that something would interrupt me so I didn't have to answer. I suppose that would be too inconvenient, though. "It's like this… maybe we should skip school, today, after all. You know… maybe go on a… a date?" God save me from this deal with the Devil, but I would certainly risk a date with Haruhi over the destruction of the universe.

I looked to Haruhi to see if she would take the bait. I didn't quite expect her to be giving me such a strange face as she rolled her eyes. What was this? Suddenly I'm not good enough for you? That's not what you said this morning. Ah, wait, she was fainting.

I rushed over to Haruhi and caught her before her head hit the floor, and cradled her in my arms. Looking up, I saw a figure that had apparently emerged from one of the bathroom stalls behind Haruhi. Judging by the shape it was definitely an older female. Why on Earth was there another girl in here, anyway? However, as my mind registered this new person, I realized she was familiar.

"Miss Asahina?" I said with confusion. More specifically, it was the more grown up version of Miss Asahina from the future. Whenever she showed up, things were certainly going to get bad. Not only that, I was somewhat sore over the way she had been manipulating events, especially giving Miss Asahina (small) such a hard time. "What are you doing here? What's going on?"

"I'm sorry about this," she said with a downcast face. "I honestly didn't know what more to do."

"Eh?" It was a little strange hearing that Miss Asahina (big) didn't know what to do. Wasn't she from the future? Didn't she know all about the little incidentals that happened in the past?

"Not in this case, however," she admitted. "Our agency has no record of this incident ever occurring. Furthermore, I personally never remembered actually being made to sky dive with Miss Suzumiya."

So what was happening now isn't supposed to be happening? Then what do we have to do in order to make things right, again? This certainly couldn't continue.

"I'm not sure," she said. "I'm afraid without knowledge of the events of the past we are quite at a loss. We have no more idea of what to do than you."

Then why are you even here? I figured you showing up would at least be helpful, if an unwelcome portent.

Miss Asahina looked uncomfortable. In this state I could finally feel some kind of connection between her and her past self. It made me feel a bit guilty for criticizing her. My apologies Miss Asahina (big). I should punch myself for making you feel bad.

"Well, we do have some information, though we don't know how much use it will be."

It seems like any information you have would be useful.

"Yes, well…" She fidgeted with her skirt. "Even in our timeline, there was a record of a slight time tremor. Nothing like the recreation of the world, of course, but it was nonetheless a strong spike. This, we believe, may have been the beginning of the aberration."

That could be useful. When in time did this spike occur?

"It was Friday at 4:47 pm."

That sounded like it was around the time Haruhi called me the first time as I was going home. So this division of Haruhi Suzumiya must have happened during my walk home, was that it?

"So you think it's a division?" Miss Asahina asked.

"Well, it seems like it," I said. "There is more than one Haruhi, and from what Nagato said, they don't just look like her, they also create data like she does. Since Haruhi alone is supposed to be the only being in the universe that can do that, they all must be Haruhi."

"Astute deduction," she said. "This is new information for us. Perhaps this will help us determine the cause of this, and then maybe we can find out how to set the timeline back on its original course." She looked away with a mysterious expression. Was there something she wasn't telling me? "Well, there is one thing," she said. "It was classified, but at this point I've been given authorization to give you any information I deemed necessary to fixing the timeline."

So what was this information?

"Well, even in our past, the initial time tremor was detected. In addition to that, there was a more massive time quake registered six days afterward. The odd thing was that during this time between these two events, no time travel was possible."

So you couldn't travel to the time between this past Friday and this upcoming Thursday. But, wait, how is it that you're here now?

"That's the odd part. The moment this aberration occurred, this time frame was opened to us, but it was not as history had recorded."

I pondered this for a moment. This time travel thing was making my head hurt. For one thing, how is it that once I, personally, passed through this time it suddenly became open in the future? Shouldn't time changing cause the future to have changed so that this was always how it was?

"It is difficult to explain without describing more how the TPDD works," Miss Asahina said. Ah, yes, the TPDD, or Time Plane Destruction Device, which was the mode by which time travelers… well… traveled time. I guess such a thing was still classified. "I don't believe it's necessary to declassify that information in this instance, Kyon-kun. It won't help you solve this problem."

Alright, that was fair enough. This was all a bit much to consider, though. What were the implications, here? I didn't understand this at all.

"We've decided to leave it up to you, for now," Miss Asahina said. "I, personally, trust that you will do the right thing."

I wish I could share your faith in me, but I have no idea what to do, either. In spite of my concerns, Miss Asahina took Haruhi in her arms, promising to take care of her. She walked into one of the stalls and shut the door. If experience taught me anything, she would be gone a moment later, off to whenever.

As I had been fortunate enough to be granted a convenient way out of my dilemma, I rushed out of the bathroom to go back to class. The bell had rung just a moment ago, but it wouldn't be such a travesty to be a minute or two late. I was usually on time, after all.

"Hey, Kyon."

I turned to see Haruhi leaning next to the bathroom door. "Hey, what are you doing here? Aren't you late for class?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she said with a lazy tone. "I was going to class, but I saw you running away with some girl. It seemed like the kind of thing that might unlock some story achievements." She looked expectantly at the door. "Well, where is she? I saw you drag that girl in with you."

"She, ah..." I had a hard time thinking of a good excuse for that. "Well, she couldn't just walk out with me, right? What kind of questions would that raise with anyone who saw us?"

"Probably the same questions it raised when people saw you two going in together," she said. I suppose that's right. "Oh, well, I'll find out later. Mysteries make these kinds of things so much more interesting. I'm almost glad I came, now."

Now that heard Haruhi speak, she certainly didn't sound like the studious Haruhi that had been in class, yesterday. She sounded almost like she was... a major geek. Could this be the Haruhi I met at Nagato's?

"You know, Kyon," Haruhi said. "I have to say that I'm suspicious about this new girlfriend of yours." Well, that statement seemed to confirm my assumption, anyway. "It seems like she's one of those Relationship Sues that gets put into the last season who's just so perfectly suited to the main character that it seems contrived."

So suddenly I'm the main character? Well, I guess that's flattering in a way, though I'm perfectly happy being a background character in your series. Besides that, didn't you say she seemed tsundere, before?

"Maybe, but now that I think about it, she's a bit too deredere for the classic dynamic to work. She only has enough tsuntsun to give a chance to show that she really likes you by showing some jealousy. In other words, classic Sue behavior."

Haruhi was starting to be as bad as Koizumi, now, with her relentless deconstruction of my mind and relationships. Of course, Koizumi at least used psychological and philosophical precedents as examples, whereas what Haruhi was doing was drawing from pure fiction. As if fictional tropes had any meaning here.

"Well, now that you mention it," Haruhi continued. "Maybe you're the one who's the tsundere."

Now she was getting ridiculous.

"Maybe. I guess we should be getting to class, though. We're already late, and I did skip yesterday, already. I guess it would be bad to skip another day."

Well, finally she was starting to talk some sense. Wait, I didn't want her to be talking sense, right now! She needed to be kept away from the other Haruhi, somehow. "Hey, Haruhi," I said, my cheerful tone sounding forced even to my ears. "How about we, ah, blow this joint and head down to... the... comics shop!"

"Well, that sounds totally radical," Haruhi said with obvious sarcasm. Hey! That's _my_ endearing character trait. "Except I already went there Sunday. That's why I was gone yesterday, too. I just got so caught up in everything I completely forgot about school."

Well, damn. There went that idea. I followed Haruhi as we made our way back to our classroom, desperately trying to think of a way to avert certain disaster. "We could watch some anime," I suggested.

"I don't have cable, and nothing will be on the regular channels."

Maybe she would like to go on a hunt for extraterrestrials?

"That sounds like too much work."

We could go LARPing?

"I'm no poser."

Okay, maybe I could try the same tactic I did on the other Haruhi and ask her to go on a date?

Haruhi froze in her tracks. Had that worked? But when she spoke, her voice was a bit on the chilly side. "If you'd asked me last week, I might have said 'yes.' I was confused, then, but now I can say without any doubt that things like love are definitely a result of mental illness. It's a completely fictional sentiment, anyway."

I remembered her saying something like that almost a year ago, back when we first met. What else was it she had said? "But even you have needs like a normal girl, right?"

Haruhi looked back at me with melancholy reflected in her eyes. "You're right about that. And to tell you the truth, I had wanted to try taking the Kyon path a long time ago. It's just that no matter what I did, I could never get any relationship flags. Soon enough I would deplete both my HP and MP completely. It seems no matter how much I boosted my charm, strength, or intelligence attributes, I could never get anywhere. I guess... you were my personal Omega."

I was trying to feel guilty, really, but it was hard to take her seriously when she was talking like that. She was even mixing video game genre references.

"Well, anyway, I've already decided that this is one game I don't want to play," she said with a scowl. Then, suddenly, she seemed to perk up. "Besides, I'd hate to think you were two-timing with your little Sue!" With that remark, she turned back and began to walk into class.

"Wait!" I shouted, breaking out of my state of confusion. I rushed toward her and reached out to grab her back from the door, lest our classmates and, specifically, the Haruhi already seated at her desk could get a glimpse of this duplicate. Unfortunately, in my rush, my feet became entangled and I stumbled, bumping into Haruhi and sending us both flying. In a rare feat of coordination, my right foot shot out and planted itself on the floor far ahead of us, and I managed to stop myself from falling. At the same time, I had wrapped my arms around Haruhi, holding her tightly so she didn't fall, herself.

I looked down at Haruhi, who was panting heavily as she lay back in my arms. She looked back at me with casual annoyance in her eyes. I looked to the side and saw that we had ended up right in front of the open classroom door, and the teacher and students were looking at us strangely, as if we were completely insane. I supposed it would seem that way as from their view I had just swept Haruhi off her feet and was now holding her in what some might see as a romantic embrace.

Strangely, I didn't see any other Haruhies in the classroom. I looked up, out of the classroom's field of view. Nagato was standing a small distance away. She nodded almost imperceptively at me. Apparently, yet another of the SOS Brigade had covered for me. It was hard to understand how they were all able to say they trusted me with Haruhi when I was being bailed out by each one crisis after another.

I stood Haruhi up and apologized, however. She muttered something about "belated meet cute" and wandered into the room. I followed, doing my best not to look anyone in the eyes. Somehow, even when she wasn't being weird Haruhi managed to embarrass me.

I sat down at my seat and Haruhi and I both half heartedly listened to the lecture. Much like the other Haruhi, this one seemed quite content with her nose in her textbook. Unlike the other, however, she had a manga placed discretely between the pages. It wasn't that I hadn't seen Haruhi do something like that before, but usually it was during a particularly dull lecture or review. In this case, she was blowing off even lessons that were relevant.

Haruhi didn't move a muscle when the lunch bell rang, apparently being as unconcerned with her regular patrols as the bookworm version of Haruhi. I decided to take the opportunity to dig for information on what might really be happening.

"Hey, Kyon," Haruhi said, interrupting my interruption of her reading. "You know how some anime follow the story of the original source and some seem to just go off on a completely different tangent at some point?"

Well, of course. Because the anime can cover so much more plot than a manga or novel in a similar amount of time, sometimes the anime based on these can overtake the original's plot. When this happens, producers only have a few options. The project can be suspended for a time which runs the risk of fans losing interest. They can create filler episodes which will keep the show in the minds of fans, but if it goes on too long fans can also become bored due to lack of plot advancement. Finally, they can simply forge ahead with their own plot, which often results in a totally different story. There was an old anime related to some kind of pseudo-scientific magic that was probably the best example of this so far.

"Yeah, though sometimes they do things like make up a completely different plot all together. Like when the TV version creates an alternate continuity, sometimes changing the way characters act or what they are."

I'd noticed that in some anime, though this was rarer. Some times that kind of thing would happen if different producers created a new television series and brought their own views on characters to it. It could also be inevitable in cases in which a straight translation of the plot was impossible, such as the case for some series based on certain types of video games.

"Do you think it's annoying, though, when they take perfectly good characters from the original and then just focus on one trait and blowing it up until they're just flat characters who hardly resemble the old ones. They seem to just do it to get them to do something they wanted the character to take some path the real one probably wouldn't, or to just reinforce their own shipping preference."

I suppose that's happened, before, and I suppose it can be disappointing when you're expecting the same kind of character dynamic in a new show as was in the original, but get something completely different. On the other hand, what would be the point in watching it if it were so much like a story you'd seen before?

"Hm, I guess you could say that," Haruhi said.

What I wondered was why Haruhi was bringing up such a banal subject completely at random. Were these the kinds of things she thought of in her spare time? I couldn't imagine how someone like that could get such high scores in class.

"Well, I haven't thought of things like that too much, lately. I did more in middle school. But you know how sometimes you just get the urge to do stuff you thought you'd grown out of? I guess that's what happened to me Sunday."

I thought that perhaps this was a good time to take control of the conversation. "So then... something happened this Sunday that made you feel like going to a manga store?"

"Well..." She looked to be pondering something, though the catty grin on her face made her seem dubious. "I guess it was really the events of Saturday that got me thinking."

"The... the haunted house?" I asked. "The one I didn't go to, right?"

She frowned. "Yeah, that's right. I know I said there'd be a penalty, but you don't have to worry about it. To be honest, I don't think I care about that kind of thing, anymore." She shrugged. "To be blunt, nothing exciting happened in the least. We got separated once, and that was a bit scary, but there was nothing particularly supernatural that happened. I thought to myself afterward... what was the point? I wanted excitement and weird stuff, but nothing like that ever happened. It always just ended up being us hanging out, doing homework, and getting nothing done. That just wasn't enough!"

I was starting to understand where she was coming from. I suppose in a situation like that, if someone were so desperate for adventure and the fantastic and yet was continuously disappointed, the two best choices would be to either seek out more and more extreme experiences or just accept that life would always be dull and seek some kind of escapism.

Haruhi remained silent for a moment. Her smile turned into one of amusement, though, and she said, "You know, Kyon, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you could read my internal monologues."

Funny, I could have sworn the same thing of you on several occasions.

"Maybe we have some kind of psychic connection. Have you ever heard of those married couples who have been together so long and know each other so well that—"

They finish each other's sentences, I know. But we've never actually done that, and I hope never to have to experience such an unnerving thing. We certainly couldn't be compared to a married couple.

Haruhi's irreverent chatter continued from there, with far too many anime and video game references for my comfort. Perhaps I should have been more concerned that I understood most of them. In any case, I was surprised to find myself a bit engrossed in the conversation, and felt a bit disappointed when the lunch period ended. Who would have thought Haruhi could be so entertaining without also scaring me out of my mind.

At the end of school, Haruhi and I walked out together and headed toward the Literature Club room. Miss Asahina stopped me on the way, however, and asked that I come with her for a moment. I told Haruhi she could go on without me and that I would be there, soon.

"I-I'm sorry about this, Kyon-kun," Miss Asahina stammered nervously. "I don't really know what this is about, but my superiors have told me that we are to go to the nurse's office."

Of course, I would follow Miss Asahina anywhere she wished, though when it came to her superiors' wishes, I was more than a little suspicious. We walked to the office and Miss Asahina halted. "I was told to stay out here while you go inside."

Now I was doubly dubious. I knew better than to question Miss Asahina's superiors at this point, though. I walked through the door and into the nurse's office. Lying in the bed was Haruhi. This was definitely the lovesick one, as she had her hair in a ponytail and I could see the pink armband. Over her stood a curvy woman with long, light hair in a nurse's uniform. She turned around, and I could see that she was wearing a mask. What, was she prepping for surgery? When she removed the mask, though, I could see that it was Miss Asahina (big).

"Kyon-kun," she said. "I thought this would be a good way to get around your original problem. I brought this Miss Suzumiya to this time frame right away, so she would wake up for sure after classes." She beamed benevolently. "I also thought it would be best if you were here when she woke up."

Well, I suppose she would feel more satisfied to have a friend by her side, but I don't know why I had to be the one to do it.

"Well, she is the one who stayed with you the entire time you were in a coma, wasn't she?" Miss Asahina said. "I think she would be disappointed if you weren't willing to stay with her."

Haruhi began to stir, and Miss Asahina put up her mask. "K-Kyon?" Haruhi said tiredly. "I... I feel like I've been drugged or something."

I thought for a moment, and then said, "Ah, yes. You fainted earlier. I think you must have been suffering from low blood sugar or something. You... were unconscious for the whole school day."

"I was?" Haruhi said, sitting up woozily. "That's so weird. I wonder why... no, that doesn't matter. You were here the whole time, watching over me?"

I looked to Miss Asahina. She nodded almost as subtly as Nagato, so I turned back to Haruhi and affirmed. "Yeah. The whole time. It's... it's a Brigade member's duty to look after his Commander, right?"

Haruhi smiled pleasantly. "Yeah. Well, we haven't missed the meeting, have we? Why don't we go see our friends?"

I found myself in awe at hearing the word "friends" come out of Haruhi's mouth. It's not that I didn't think she considered her Brigade members friends, but she certainly never came out and said it. In fact, at times it was difficult to figure out if she really thought of us as friends or just subordinates. Were these her true feelings, then, or just a fabrication?

"Actually, Miss Suzumiya," the disguised time traveler interrupted. "I think it would be best for your health if you went back home and took it easy. I've already called a cab for you, in fact. They'll be happy to take you right home."

"Oh," Haruhi said. "Well, I guess, but..." she turned to me with fire in her eyes. "Make sure you let the others know we'll definitely meet tomorrow, no matter what!"

"No problem, Haruhi," I said. I helped her out of the nurse's office, noticing that Miss Asahina (small) had already gone, probably to the club room. I walked Haruhi outside where a familiar black taxi was waiting. Apparently, Koizumi's organization was also in on this.

"Miss Suzumiya, what a surprise!" a familiar older gentleman said. It was that butler from our summer and winter vacations who was also apparently a member of the Organization.

"Mr. Arakawa!" Haruhi beamed. "I recognize you. What are you doing here?"

"Well," he responded sheepishly. "Unfortunately, playing the role of butler doesn't pay as well as it should, so I happen to be a taxi driver part time. It's quite a coincidence that you happen to be my customer, today."

About as coincidental as the sun rising in the east, I'd bet. "Don't overwork yourself, tonight, okay?" I said to Haruhi as I helped her to the door.

"I promise," she responded before climbing into the back seat.

I looked meaningfully at Mr. Arakawa and he smiled at me. I knew he wouldn't let any harm come to his organization's God, but even so friends were allowed to worry about one another. Who was I kidding? If anyone tried to come after Haruhi, she would be the first to flatten her enemies.

With that I left her to join the SOS Brigade in the Literature Club room. Hopefully someone had thought of a plan at this point to get us out of this situation.


	4. Chapter 3

**Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun  
**_(The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya)_

Chapter 3:

"I think it's interesting how sometimes artsy anime take quotes completely out of context and try to fit it with their show's message."

"Quite true. The Japanese seem to particularly enjoy using quotes from Christian and other Western religions. For instance, in one strangely metaphoric mecha anime I happened upon..."

This was where I came in. Haruhi and Koizumi were apparently discussing the peculiar conventions of fictional media. As I entered the club room, their conversation abated, and I was left with the impression that my presence was the cause. Well, whatever, it wasn't my business.

Haruhi picked up a few tankobon that she must have borrowed from someone and walked out the door. "Well, I gotta get out of here for now. I'll see you tomorrow, Kyon."

"You know, Kyon," Koizumi said, shrugging his shoulders casually, "I think I like this version of Haruhi. Maybe we should keep her like this."

So Koizumi liked her like this? Was it because she was as long-winded as you or are you just a closet otaku?

"I can assure you that I'm not in the closet."

If you're not in the closet, then why the hell are you standing so close?

"Oh? My apologies. Regardless, it seems that we are indeed dealing with multiple iterations of Miss Suzumiya. As you know, there is currently a Haruhi on her way home in an Organization vehicle. There is also a Haruhi that left the club room just now and is heading home on foot. A third Haruhi left the building before the other two, seeming to have just appeared outside from nowhere."

I glanced at Nagato. I assumed that was her doing.

"Your supposition is correct," Nagato said. "Before you and the mythophilic Haruhi entered the classroom, I moved the other's data into a pocket space created by the Integrated Data Sentient Entity and had sensory data from the classroom fed to her, with the exception of any data pertaining to you or the other Haruhi."

I had no idea what Nagato was talking about, here. It would be really nice if she could talk normal Japanese like everyone else. Maybe just once.

"So that means you removed the third Haruhi from the area and then made her believe she experienced a regular day in class without Kyon." Koizumi shook his head with his usual grin. "Truly Miss Nagato is amazing. In terms of usefulness, you put even our organization to shame."

For once, Koizumi and I were in complete agreement. Out of the three factions, it seemed that Nagato was much more reliable. This wasn't the time to talk about that, though. We've acknowledged that there were three Haruhies at school, today. One was the lovey-dovey one, one was the bookworm, and one was the otaku. However, none of these quite seemed like the type to take us skydiving. If that was true, wouldn't there be a fourth one, somewhere? Where was she?

"I don't know the answer to that, I'm afraid," Koizumi stated.

Miss Asahina fiddled with her fingers. "A-ahh… um… I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but Tsuruya hasn't shown up for class the past couple days. It's not usually like her to be truant, though she is sometimes late."

Well, Haruhi and Tsuruya seemed to be in remarkable agreement on Sunday concerning their enjoyment of performing death defying feats. Could it be that they had gone on some kind of zany adventure on the side? Maybe it was best not to think about it, for now.

"Well, it seems like the first thing we should do is go to Miss Suzumiya's house," Koizumi said. "We'll likely find out how more than one Haruhi Suzumiya can exist in the same place at the same time without being aware of each other, and hopefully that will give us a better idea as to why this happened in the first place."

Wouldn't your usual answer be "because Haruhi wished it?"

"Well, yes, but that doesn't tell us why she wished it—though I have my theories—and that is one of the most important clues we must have in order to deduce how to fix the problem."

I don't really need to hear your theories right now. Let's just go to Haruhi's place, and find out first-hand. Of course, first we need to think of an excuse to go.

I was interrupted from my thoughts when Koizumi's cell phone rang. He moved away from us and answered it, speaking in a low whisper to whoever it was on the other end. After a moment, he clapped the phone closed and turned back to us. "Well, Kyon, it seems you are going to have an interesting visitor to your home."

What on earth was he babbling about? Was he now clairvoyant? I'm afraid to say that if he could really tell the future, I was going to have to smack him for not warning me of a few things. Not to mention that would unfortunately diminish Miss Asahina's role even further, aside from her emotional support and moe-factor.

"The person with whom I was just speaking was a woman assigned to tail your third Haruhi. Apparently, that Haruhi has decided not to go to her own home, but is instead heading in the direction of your house."

It seemed strange to me that this particular Haruhi would be doing that. After all, her actions so far suggested that she wasn't interested in me or the SOS Brigade at all, anymore, so why would she be heading toward my house? Could it be that she had, in fact, seen her double and was coming to confront me about it? Of course, my sudden disappearance also would probably concern anyone.

"Whatever the case, Kyon," Koizumi said. "It might be best if you meet her there. We three will investigate Haruhi's home on our own."

So that was how I got forced into meeting a suddenly school-minded Haruhi at my doorstep instead of investigating paranormal phenomena. I would normally be complaining about having to do the latter, but in this case I wasn't so excited about meeting a Haruhi that had become so much more like her old self.

I took the normal route home, hoping there would be no odd occurrences that would delay me. I imagined that Haruhi would have gotten quite bored waiting for me, at this point, however, as there had been a good twenty minute interval between her and me leaving.

In the middle of my journey home, my phone suddenly lit up, a familiar name appearing on the Caller ID. I answered the phone hesitantly.

"Hey, Kyon," the girl on the other end said. "Oy, Haru-nyan has really been demanding, lately, hasn't she? I was wondering if you've seen her, yet?"

"Tsuruya?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Ah, well, did she not tell you? After we went skydiving, we ended up going rappelling, spelunking, snorkeling, and we performed some stunts in this new action movie. It was fun, but I was too tired to keep going, so I had to leave her to do her own thing yesterday. I've been in bed, recovering since then."

Well, that accounted for the fourth Haruhi. Or was she the third? Actually, she may have been the second. No, it didn't really matter. "Ms. Tsuruya, I'm afraid I... haven't seen Haruhi since then."

"I see," Tsuruya said. "Well, hopefully she hasn't been doing anything too dangerous. She seemed different, somehow, and I felt a bit guilty for leaving her. I hope you can forgive me."

It was no problem, of course. She had the patience of a saint to put up with Haruhi's wacky schemes as long as she did. She didn't even have to fake it like Koizumi.

"Oh, I would never fake it with Haru-nyan. I wouldn't need to with Kyon," she said, giggling at that last part. I wasn't so much amused. "Well, I hope you can find her, soon. I'm afraid she might get into trouble without you."

I was so happy to be the elected handler of Haruhi Suzumiya. In any case, I bid Miss Tsuruya goodbye and hung up the phone and continued on my way.

When I got home, Haruhi was in our living room, sipping tea that my mother had prepared for her.

"You weren't in class, today," Haruhi said, right off the bat.

"Ah… n-no," I said, looking toward the kitchen where my mom was preparing something for dinner. I hoped she didn't hear this, because I really didn't want to explain something like that to her. "I was sick…"

"And that's why you weren't at home in bed?" Haruhi asked with a skeptical look on her face. "Besides, I saw that you were at school. You took one look at me and turned to run. You were even dragging some girl along with you."

Haruhi had seen her double, then. My heart sank into my stomach. Had she recognized her?

"I didn't get a good look at her face," Haruhi said, much to my relief. "It doesn't matter, now anyway. I'm glad you didn't take it too hard."

Take what too hard?

"I mean," her cheeks flushed. "Listen, I know I kissed you that night and everything, but it was just a momentary lapse of judgment."

It seemed she remembered our rendezvous at the Ball on Saturday night. I wondered how that was possible since it seemed that the love-struck Haruhi also remembered that. Were they the same person up until that point?

"I don't think I need to tell you that any mention of that incident doesn't leave your lips, right?" Haruhi asserted. "Anyway, after thinking about it that night, I concluded that it was definitely a mistake, and it's more important to be practical about things like that. Love is just a mental disease, so whatever weird feelings you may have toward me should end now."

Wait, how did this become a discussion of my feelings toward you? After all, you were the one who kissed me. This was ridiculous.

"Anyway, the reason I'm here isn't about that," she said firmly, slapping down a notebook. "I've noticed you haven't been paying much attention in class, recently. Your grades are slipping."

I wonder what the cause of that could be.

"And now you're skipping. How irresponsible. What woman do you think would want to marry someone who probably won't even get into college?"

Well, I thought that was going a little far. I mean, I may not have wonderful grades, but they weren't dismal! I'm sure I can get into a decent college and find a modest job in the future. It may not be as great a college as yours would be, but it isn't material wealth that makes one happy, is it?

"Well, I may have ended up ignoring the club the other day, but as Brigade Leader it is still my duty to make sure my subordinates pass with flying colors. Koizumi and Yuki don't need the help, and Mikuru is a junior, but I can certainly raise your average by a few points!"

So this was an impromptu study session? Well, as much as I appreciated the sentiment, I had the feeling that studying with Haruhi would not be a pleasant experience.

"Don't worry," Haruhi said. "With my help and a strong will, you'll certainly become a successful man worthy of a good wife."

I stared at her, lamenting my inability to comprehend what was going on in that girl's head. She began to sort her various notes, looking as if she was ready to settle in for an all-nighter. My mother walked in to offer us snacks at that point, for which I thanked her but declined. I really didn't want Haruhi to stay here with me all night. It's a known fact that I'm a healthy young male, but... well, never mind.

"Hey, wait a minute Haruhi," I said, interrupting her from her preparations. "Maybe this isn't the best place to do this."

"What do you mean, Kyon?"

I explained to her that humans tended to associate particular feelings or habits with certain places. For instance, if you use one room mostly for sleeping, any time you're in that room your body will prepare itself for the act of sleeping. In the same vein, if one is trying to change one's habits, the home is probably the worst place to try, as any bad habits that one might have are most likely to assert themselves.

"So you're saying that being at your house will make you procrastinate?" She asked skeptically.

"Well, yeah," I said. "Besides, with my parents and especially my little sister... well, they'll be pretty distracting, especially with me having a girl over." I certainly didn't want my sister to try mentioning to Haruhi anything about her doppelganger's visit this morning. Besides that, I certainly wasn't going to be left studying while the others got to the bottom of this mystery.

"Hm, maybe you're right," Haruhi said, folding her arms and looking like she was in deep thought. "Okay. But I'll be watching you, so don't try anything funny."

I wouldn't worry about me, but yourself. That is to say your doubles, though I'm always concerned about any mischief any Haruhi might end up making. I didn't say this, of course, but I got the feeling she got the impression.

"Don't look at me suspiciously like that," she said. "Let's get out of here."

It wasn't very long after that we found ourselves in front of Haruhi's home, me being the unfortunate pack mule, carrying the various text books and notes that Haruhi had brought. I wondered what would happen if we opened the door to find the SOS Brigade lounging around with another Haruhi Suzumiya. I had to trust, though, that there was some reason the Haruhies could exist in one place at one time and not notice each other.

Haruhi opened the door and I braced myself for something weird to happen. I wasn't disappointed. Thankfully, the weirdness was nothing particularly paranormal, but when she opened the door, we heard a feminine squeak. There in the living room was a very confused looking Mikuru Asahina.

"Mikuru?" Haruhi said. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah-um..." she stammered. "You let us in here, didn't you? Or maybe that was someone else?"

"Eh? I just got here," Haruhi said.

"Oh? Eeh, I guess... um... did we..." Miss Asahina was obviously flustered. "The others are..."

"What? Are the other SOS Brigade members here, too?" Haruhi asked, looking around with eyes wide as a tanuki. "Come on, tell me. Where are they?"

I interjected at this point. Asahina was obviously too startled to figure out exactly what to say, especially with Haruhi giving her that look that bore into the soul with diamond-tipped relentlessness. It would be much better if she let me question her.

"Alright, I'm going into my room and get the study materials set up. Don't keep me waiting," Haruhi said before marching out of the living room.

I sat down with Asahina on the couch. "What happened to the others? Didn't you all come together?"

"Y-yes," she said nervously. "I don't know what happened. Miss Suzumiya answered the door and let us in. but after that... w-well, I turned my back for a moment, and when I turned around, everyone was gone. I've been looking for everyone since."

So apparently Haruhi, Koizumi, and Nagato had decided to ditch Asahina. Wait a minute, maybe there was an easy way to figure this out. I took out my cell phone and called Koizumi's cell phone.

"Hello, Kyon," Koizumi answered.

"Koizumi, where are you?"

"I'm in Miss Suzumiya's house," he said. "In her living room at the moment. I seem to have lost the others in our group."

"Wait, in the living room? But that's where Miss Asahina and I are right now."

"Ah, you came over?" Koizumi asked. "So it seems our studious Miss Suzumiya is interested in you, after all..."

This was hardly the time for that. What I wanted to know was how he could be in the same room we were in, but we couldn't see him. Was he some kind of ninja?

"Give me a moment," Koizumi said. I gave him a moment. "I see... I think I understand what's happening, here." Well, there was no need to enlighten me on that point. Please feel free to be vague as usual.

"It would seem the answer is self evident," Koizumi said. However, his voice was no longer coming from the phone, but from behind me. I turned around and saw him standing there, the usual smug look on his face. "It's much more sophisticated than I've seen before, so I wasn't even able to sense it until I actively searched for it."

What? He still wasn't making any sense.

"That is to say, this is a Sealed Reality," Koizumi said.

I looked around, noting the lack of gray skies or Celestials. How exactly was this a Sealed Reality?

"Well, I have some theories..." Oh, good, more theories. "It seems Haruhi Suzumiya's house is overlaid with multiple layers of Sealed Realities. They are completely stable, however, and seem to be constructed for the sole purpose of allowing the multiple Haruhi Suzumiyas to coexist without each other's knowledge."

I wasn't quite sure what he was talking about, but I tried to clarify. "So what you're saying is that each Haruhi has her own dimension?"

Koizumi looked thoughtful after I said that, and then responded, "It's not quite like that, but I suppose there's no practical difference. Yes, each Sealed Reality seems to be meant to hold each separate version of Haruhi. They are presumably whisked away to their own personal Reality when they walk through the door. It's only fortunate that no Haruhi has come to or left from the house at the same time."

I wondered why these Sealed Realities would have anything to do with this incident. If Haruhi just wanted to make duplicates of herself, why bother with creating pocket dimensions where her different selves were safe from finding each other out. Since these Sealed Realities were apparently completely stable, she obviously wasn't trying to rewrite existence, so what would have made her wish for this?

"We can't be sure, but I imagine that there is a part of Miss Suzumiya that does not wish to find out," Koizumi said. "Think of it as a subconscious self preservation mechanism. If her different selves found out about each other, she would suddenly discover that such strange things can happen, and may even discover that she, herself, is the cause. This would be a problem if there were one Haruhi Suzumiya, but in this case there seems to be at least four."

"Hey, Kyon!" Haruhi called from her bedroom. "I'm ready for you. Are you going to come or not?"

"Oh," Koizumi said with that strange smirk of his. "I see I'm interrupting something." Somehow, I got the feeling his smile was a bit more lewd than usual. "Let's go, Miss Asahina. I'll take you back to the proper plane."

"A-ah, thank you, Koizumi-kun," she said shyly. That demur tone of voice was far too good for Koizumi, and when she took his hand I swore that if he held on a moment longer than necessary, I would pop him good. Koizumi then led Asahina out of the living room, with me following a short distance behind.

They were only out of sight for an instance as they rounded the corner of the hallway, but when I stepped into the same, they had disappeared from sight. Since that had been taken care of, I hurried to Haruhi's room in the interest of the universe's safety.

Upon arriving, I found Haruhi's room surprisingly empty. This was odd. Was this the right place? It certainly seemed to be, but if that was the case where was Haruhi? I turned around and stepped out of the room, thinking that perhaps I had gotten it wrong. I had never actually been in her room, after all, so how was I to know that this wasn't just a guest bedroom? Though any family that would adorn the walls of their guest rooms with posters of giant mecha and David Duchovny was quite eccentric at best.

"Eh, Kyon? What were you doing in my bedroom?"

Well, it seemed Haruhi had just come from the living room with a cup of… well, some kind of beverage, though who would be so interested as to pay attention to what exactly it was? She was dressed rather casually, in an oversized t-shirt and I hoped short shorts were adorning her pelvic region.

"If you wanted to know what was underneath my shirt, you only had to ask, Kyon," she said playfully, lifting the bottom of her shirt. She was wearing shorts, thank heavens.

I told her, "No, that's not it. I thought… I would surprise you." I reasoned from her behavior that this was probably the relationship-oriented Haruhi, so I went on a limb and said, "I figured you would appreciate a visitor since you weren't feeling well."

"Ah, well, you were right," Haruhi said. I was right, indeed. It would have been awkward if this had been the otaku Haruhi and I had misinterpreted some kind of anime reference for honest flirting.

At the very least, anyway, it seemed like these Sealed Realities weren't as stable as Koizumi had believed. This was probably how everyone got separated from each other in the first place. The reason for the seemingly random switching of realities was unclear, but apparently one could do just that without intention.

"Hey, Kyon!" Haruhi said ecstatically. "You wanna fool around?"

What was this about all of a sudden? Perhaps if by that you're asking if I want to play a video game, though somehow I was beginning to suspect that wasn't the direction in which she was leading. I don't need to tell anyone that I'm a healthy young male. Well, maybe it wasn't so much that. It can't be denied that Haruhi is rather cute in her own, special way. Any heterosexual man would be stupid not to want to be somehow intimate, which is probably why she's had so many boyfriends in the past. Those other men just weren't good enough for her, though. I wondered if I was good enough, and if so, what made me so?

"You're thinking way too much about that question," Haruhi said. "You're such a weirdo."

No, I don't know what I was talking about before. What did I care what she thought? Really, to think she was calling me weird. That's what you are, Haruhi. I'm a traditional Japanese man, preferring a more docile, delicate, and nurturing woman, much like Miss Asahina. That's just what you'd expect from a normal person, which I am in spite of what you might think.

"It's not like I'm any different from any of the other three billion women on this planet," Haruhi said. "There's nothing special about me at all. That's why I wanted to know someone who... who was different. Someone who was unique. It would make me feel a little special by proxy, then." She seemed melancholic while she spoke, but then her sparkling smile returned. "But, you know, there's something about Kyon-chan that's special. I think with you around I'm happy to be a normal girl."

Such a vulnerable and sentimental Haruhi made me uncomfortable. I was starting to miss the Haruhi who forced us to sky dive. "Uh, hey, listen, I'm going to go out into the hall for a second," I told her.

"Okay..." Haruhi said. "Help yourself to anything in the fridge."

I walked out of the room and back toward the living room. Maybe it would be best to call Koizumi again and see if he could get us all in the right reality. Or, better, out of this crazy house. It was worse than that phantom house in the mountains. As I entered the living room, I came across Haruhi. A different Haruhi, I presumed, and she seemed to be... dancing.

"BON BON, ooendan, let's get CHERRY PIE! Ranran kangekai, LOOK UP, SENSATION!" she was singing as she flailed around with a set of pompoms. "Hai! Sonzaikan tenten shouwakusei."

I backed away slowly, hoping that she wouldn't notice my sudden intrusion into her Sealed Reality. I wasn't so fortunate, however, as she noticed me out of the corner of her eye in the midst of her routine. I froze, perhaps hoping that if I didn't move she wouldn't be able to see me.

"Kyon!" she exclaimed. "What... what are you doing in the house? This isn't some H rape scenario, is it?"

There were no words to describe how wrong what she just said was. Where was everyone else, anyway? Weren't you the one who let them in?

"Oh, yeah, they were here, but they keep getting lost. Weird, it's not like it's a big place. Anyway, they all went in the kitchen a minute ago, but I looked in there and didn't see 'em." She looked querulously at me. "You know, you are a weird guy. If this were an anime, I'd say you were probably a slider or had some kind of super alter-ego."

Well, thanks I guess. I thought that perhaps it would be best to go into the kitchen, myself. Maybe it would lead me to the same Sealed Reality as the rest. I told her I was going to look for the others and she granted me leave, resuming her odd cheerleading routine.

I entered the kitchen and found it empty. I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised. Was I still in the otaku's reality, though? Looking back through the door frame to the living room, I could see that Haruhi was no longer there.

Well, she wasn't there at the moment. Once I stepped back into the living room, the door suddenly slammed open, and Haruhi stepped through. She was clad in a white martial arts gi with her hair pulled out of her face by a sweat band rather than her usual yellow ribbon. Her skin was glistening with sweat and her skin was flushed with exertion. She was carrying a large bundle of what looked like wooden boards and tossed them aside when she got inside.

She looked at me with a frighteningly intense gaze, as if she were ready to break my back across her knee. "Kyon," she said with fire in her voice. "I didn't think you had the balls to break into my house." She smirked. "I guess I underestimated you."

I think, if anything, she was prone to overestimating me. However, that wasn't quite as important as where on Earth she had been and what she had been doing for all this time.

Haruhi crossed her arms across her chest, a prideful look on her face. "What've I been doing? I've received 108 dojo signs, earned through single combat with the most powerful masters in the Kansai region." She closed her eyes and shook her head like some kind of cocky villainous fop character. "It was too easy."

Somehow, I thought that must have been an exaggeration, though knowing the kind of things of which Haruhi was capable I wouldn't be too surprised if she actually had fought 108 masters.

"Well, I just needed to drop this stuff off. I'm not interested in a normal life anymore. I want to travel around and have the most extreme experiences; things that no one else has done. I want to climb Mt. Everest in my sailor fuku and air balloon around the world in not eighty days, but forty!"

That certainly sounded interesting, and much more like the Haruhi I knew. Maybe a little too much like the Haruhi I knew.

"So what do you say? You want to come with me? Tsuruya wasn't up to it, but I think you might be able to keep up if you try," Haruhi said, a blazing inferno in her eyes.

The problem is that I don't _want_ to try.

"Come on," Haruhi said. "I hate to be dragged down by ordinary people, but there are some things I need another person to do!" She grabbed me by the tie and pulled me sharply down so our noses touched. Her breath smelled much sweeter than I would have guessed. "Don't be a coward. Don't you want some excitement in your life?"

Your idea of excitement just sounds like a hassle to me.

Haruhi's face twisted into a mixture of annoyance and disappointment. "Fine," she said, tossing my tie back in my face. "Just stay the same old boring Kyon as always, then." She stormed into the hallway. "You know the way out," she called back.

"Wait, Haruhi!" I called after her. I jogged after her, and barged into her room, feeling the strangest urge to console her. However, when I entered, I froze. It wasn't so much from seeing Haruhi sitting in her chair glaring at me. Aside from her there were three others in the room.

It looked like I'd finally found the rest of the SOS Brigade.

"Kyon, what took you so long?" Haruhi asked. "You've already wasted minutes that we could have spent improving your crappy grades!"

I met the eyes of each of the SOS Brigade in turn. Were they going to help me study, now, or what?

"Bingo," Haruhi said. "Since everyone unexpectedly showed up like this, I've decided we'll have a group study session!"

I sighed. This was going to be a trying evening.

As I thought, Haruhi was in fact a hard task master, not letting us leave until nine. A whole four hours studying was murder on me, though she alleged that it was nothing. She told me that I was going to come back over for the weekend all by myself and she would make me study six times as long and make me sweat twelve times as much. If I weren't so frightened of her insane amount of academic ambition, I would have been intrigued at the possibility of spending the night at a girl's house. Of course, if Miss Asahina (big) was right, I wouldn't have to worry about this weekend's study session, as two days from now the world would… well, something big would happen.

The other members of the SOS Brigade left with me, and we discussed the developments of our little investigation as we walked.

"So there were definitely four Suzumiyas within that house, this evening. One whose main goal seems to be to consume all the fantasy and science fiction she can get her hands on, another who seems more open to relationships than our original Suzumiya, yet another who is mainly interested in academic and eventually material and financial success, and finally one who seems to be what you might call an 'adrenaline junkie.'"

Koizumi's conclusion was typical. If not unnecessarily obfuscating, it was blindingly obvious. So we had four Haruhies whose personalities seemed to be different from the original, but each of them was, in fact, the real Haruhi.

"I have a theory on that," Koizumi claimed. Somehow this didn't surprise me. "From what we've gathered, the fiction-obsessed one and the adrenaline junkie both remember the night of the 'haunted house.' On the other hand, from what you said, the studious and the extroverted Haruhi both remember the ball. From this information, it can be reasoned that there were originally two that split, and then these two split again.

"Let's look at the initial differences between the two Suzumiyas. One decided to take the SOS Brigade to a haunted house while the other decided to take you on what amounts to a date. She heard about the house and got the tickets the day before the split, and it was her inability to decide on which course of action to take that brought her into conflict. Because of this, she created two of herself so she could avoid making the decision. One part of her would embody all the desires that would lead her to choose the haunted house while the other would embody the desires that would lead her to choose the ball."

So, if I was getting this straight, she originally couldn't decide between the SOS Brigade and me, so one was created with the SOS Brigade as her priority while the other was created with me as a priority. I couldn't imagine why there would even be a conflict like that, though.

"It's not so much that," Koizumi said. "Again, this is just a theory, but I believe the initial split was caused by the conflict of one part of her desiring the fantastic while the other part just wants to be a normal high school girl. Going to a haunted house to look for ghosts is the thing our Suzumiya—the girl who isn't satisfied with normalcy—would do. However, she also wanted to go on a date with you. It's a very normal thing for a high school girl to want to go on dates, isn't it?"

I supposed it was pretty normal, though I don't know why she would have been so concerned about going on one with me, personally. Was it just because I was the only guy she hadn't rejected yet, or something?

"Well, I don't know if it's like that," the esper told me. "She chose you from the beginning, didn't she? Out of all the people on the planet, you are the one she wants to spend her time with…"

That still sounded fishy to me, but I wasn't going to argue.

"Well, in any case, you've probably realized how Suzumiya has recently been bringing us on more and more normal activities. Granted, she always came up with some way to make it strange and interesting, but it shows that her desire to do things that common people do has risen. It was most evident this Valentine's Day. Remember how she gave us chocolates? A very normal gesture that Haruhi has never shown any interest in making before. She used digging for treasure as a pretext for this. Perhaps she never thought she would find anything in the first place, but only wanted to spend time with us without admitting to herself that she was no longer the same as before." Koizumi paused for a moment, looking thoughtful even with the idiot smirk on his face. "I imagine it's been bothering her for awhile. This most recent conflict was only the trigger. There wasn't much use for pretext in this case, for it was such a normal event she couldn't come up with any fantastic diversions for her own psyche. Because of this she was left with the stark truth that she wanted to do something that was absolutely normal, so she had to choose a path. Accept normalcy or reject it in favor of becoming who she once was. It is this vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya that caused the split to occur."

That was a very eloquent conclusion, I'm sure, but I wished Koizumi could try using clear Japanese for once. So, anyway, her two selves came into being because part of her wanted to be normal and the other part of her still wanted to be weird. But how does that explain this situation? It seems like all four Haruhies are pretty odd at this point.

"I believe the problem lies in that Suzumiya has spread her personality too thin. When she split originally she was a little out of character. I noticed that even our Haruhi, in spite of being the one closest to the original's way of acting, was acting a little more eccentric than she originally was. The difference was slight at that point, but noticeable. She split again, however. I believe the Suzumiyas that resulted are the passive and active parts of her desire to be special.

"The adrenaline junkie is that side of her that seeks out excitement and new experiences. Usually that is coupled with her love of fantasy and science fiction, but this one has had that love suppressed so that she isn't concerned with whether or not there are aliens, time travelers, or espers. She just wants new experiences no matter what.

"The other is the embodiment of that part of Suzumiya that wants to escape to a fantasy realm. This Haruhi doesn't really believe such things exist in the real world, so she passively reads and plays games so she can escape the real world for awhile. She's that side of Haruhi that is most dangerous. The one that simply isn't satisfied with this world at all and wants nothing more than to escape from it to a more exciting world.

"On the other hand, the Suzumiya that went with you was concerned with being normal. There are two major things that concern the normal high school student, and that would be relationships and getting through school."

Thus we have "Kyon's Girl," who is the part that wanted to invite me in, and the studious Haruhi, the one who wanted to be prepared for our exam. Okay, I can see some conflict there, but why would that cause her to split. It seems like an arbitrary conflict over which to get broken up.

"Well, I can't say exactly. The one whose main focus is on relationships seems to fall on the idealistic side of the scale, however, while the studious one seems more pragmatic and perhaps even cynical. I think one explanation could be that it was focused on you, but more in the area of whether or not your cons outweighed your pros. The cons, of course, being your GPA."

If I didn't know Koizumi better, I would say he was intentionally making a crack about me.

"Haruhi Suzumiya's data was unstable during the incident with Macrospatial Quantum Cosmic Existence on Saturday," Nagato interjected. "It became even more so after the incident. It is believed by the Integrated Data Sentient Entity that the instability is a result of Haruhi Suzumiya's division."

Koizumi nodded to Nagato. "Then it seems it could be that the instability caused by Suzumiya's original split may have made it easier to split additionally. That means it may be possible for one or more of them to divide again should they experience any more indecision." He tapped his chin with his finger. "Though I think these two ideas are complementary, so it's likely that both are true." He then shrugged his shoulders in his usual noncommittal way. "Of course, it's just a theory, so it could be that none of it is right."

Koizumi was therefore about as helpful as usual. I wondered what Nagato thought of the situation, though. She was quite a bit more reliable in these situations, after all.

"Itsuki Koizumi's theory is confirmed in that Haruhi Suzumiya originally split into the two forms Friday afternoon at 4:47 p.m. and these two forms are the ones that accompanied us respectively on Saturday. A minor data eruption was again detected Sunday morning from Haruhi Suzumiya. This was the result of the further divide of Haruhi Suzumiya into four entities. The resulting change in data also matches Itsuki Koizumi's description of the individual Haruhi Suzumiyas motivations."

So, in other words, Nagato knew about everything from the beginning. Why couldn't she have come out with it sooner, then?

"This information was not completely available to me until now. Restrictions have been placed on my communications with the Integrated Data Sentient Entity due to my recent inadherence to protocol."

She was obviously talking about the incident in which she used Haruhi's powers to alter reality, thus setting into motion a whole series of time traveling adventures that finally concluded this year. Because of that incident she could no longer synchronize with her future selves, though I think she rather liked not knowing what the future held.

"The Integrated Data Sentient Entity is also conflicted as to the action it should take," Nagato continued. "The existence of four or more Absolute Data Entities is promising in the way of research. However, their instability may also be a risk to the Entity's continued existence. Because the opinions on this are so closely divided, it has been decided to wait and see what Kyon does."

So an all-powerful alien being was counting on me to make its decisions for it. That was such a comforting thought. No stress at all, here. "Well," I said. "Whatever the answer is, I hope I come to it soon. After all, that next time quake is supposed to happen sometime on Thursday."

"E-eh?" Asahina stammered. "H-h-how do you know about that? That's classified information!"

Oh, right. I guess she wouldn't know about the conversation I had with her older self. I assumed her older self's involvement was also to remain classified, but how would I explain it. Well, I suppose I would explain it to her just as she would to me.

"That's classified," I said, putting my finger to my lips and winking. She blushed and stammered in the classic yamato nadeshiko manner. I could see why she always looked so amused when she said that. It was fun from the other side. "Anyway," I continued, "What's important is that at some point on Thursday, Haruhi—or one of them, anyway—may try to destroy the universe."

"The time quake will occur at seven thirty in the morning," Asahina said. When I looked at her strangely, wondering why she would give up that information so easily all of a sudden, she shrugged and looked sheepish. "Well, my superiors just told me that all classified information as to any events concerning the time quakes was hereby declassified concerning the SOS Brigade members."

So they told you that just now? In the space of the five seconds I was talking, they issued such orders. Well, I suppose as time travelers, such a thing should be simple enough. In any case, that meant that I didn't even have until the end of the day on Thursday to do anything about this. I'd have to save the world before school. Hooray.


	5. Chapter 4

**Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun  
**_(The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya)_

Chapter 4:

I'd like to say that the next day passed without further incident and all the Haruhies managed to work out their differences and merged back together in some deeply meaningful way that changed all our lives for the better. Well, you should know by know that what I'd like to say isn't always true.

Of course we members of the SOS Brigade had thought of a plan to deal with those four coming to school in order to prevent them from seeing each other. It basically involved little more than each member distracting each Haruhi. I would divert the relationship-oriented Haruhi somehow, apparently expected to keep her away from the classroom. As if my grades weren't bad enough, here I was being forced to engage in truant behavior. Itsuki would lead the otaku Haruhi away as well, while Nagato would manage our studious Brigade leader. It was assumed that our adventurous Haruhi wouldn't be caught dead at such a boring place as school, but obviously the task of sidetracking her would belong to Asahina.

I had sincerely hoped I was right in thinking that the Haruhi with a death wish would find school too boring and thus spare Asahina from such a task. After all, while the other members were well suited to interacting with their assignments, but Mikuru, unfortunately had little chance against such a brute. However, that girl's arrival is exactly the unfortunate event that occurred that morning.

I had met Haruhi (affectionate) as I walked up the hill much like the day before. She was a bit broody because I had, from her perspective, left without saying anything last night. I couldn't tell her that I had actually spent the evening with her alternate self being forced to study, so I apologized and told her that I had to leave due to an apparent emergency at home, and that I had called a goodbye to her from the door, but I must have been in such a hurry that I hadn't said anything loud enough for her to hear. She seemed reasonably satisfied with that answer, but I couldn't help feeling guilty at the lingering look of loneliness that remained in her eyes.

We had actually made it into the school and the bell was about to ring when we heard it. A loud crash resounded through the school, and what seemed like the entire student body rushed out of the school to see what had happened, above the teachers' protests that class had begun. When Haruhi and I made it to a point where we could see what was going on, we were rather surprised.

It had been a motorcycle wreck. It seemed two delinquents had ridden onto school grounds and must have lost control of it, crashing it into the wall near the school doors. The man had already pulled his helmet off and was crying and screaming at the girl, who had apparently been driving. His display was completely mismatched with his tough biker clothes and dyed hair, especially as his Mascara was beginning to run. The girl was dressed in a North High uniform with the skirt hiked up enough that you could see her panties (black ones) while she was standing straight up. The ribbon of her shirt was also undone.

In the moment I processed all of this, the motorcycle suddenly went up in flames. The explosion was unbelievable huge. Really, it was the kind you only see in action movies, and I had been under the impression that it was physically impossible for a crashed vehicle to actually do that unless it was packing dynamite or some other explosive. At this, the biker guy began to shout at the girl for destroying his bike, saying he should never have picked her up.

"Oh, quit whining," the girl said. That voice, though muffled through the helmet, was too familiar for comfort. "It was a piece of crap, anyway. The Honda Super Cub is so standard…"

"The Super Cub is a piece of art!" the biker declared tearfully. "You… you're a demon woman, that's what you are!"

"Please. Honda, Yamaha, Suzuki… I'm not interested in such ordinary motorcycle companies!" the girl declared. I was definitely getting a bad feeling about this.

I reached beside me to touch Haruhi's shoulder and whispered, "Hey, maybe we should get out of here. This seems like a lot of trouble."

"A-ah, Kyon-kun!"

I looked to whom I had touched. It seemed Miss Asahina had replaced Haruhi's spot at my side, and I had accidentally placed my hand on top of her head. "Oh," I said. "I'm sorry, Miss Asahina. I didn't know you were there."

"It's alright," she said. "Um… should Miss Suzumiya be going up to them?"

I looked up and saw Haruhi (affectionate) moving slowly closer to who I suspected to be Haruhi (adventurous). No, it definitely wasn't something she should be doing. I rushed toward her and grabbed her, turning her around swiftly as she yelped in surprise.

"Kyon!" I heard the helmeted Haruhi say as she saw me. I hoped she hadn't seen her double before I had gotten her behind me.

I pushed Haruhi toward Asahina, mouthing to her, "This is up to you." Miss Asahina nodded and grabbed Haruhi by the wrist, pulling her along toward the school doors. Though Haruhi protested, Asahina was surprisingly resolute in getting Haruhi away from the scene. I turned around to face the other Haruhi.

She pulled off her helmet, revealing that perfectly proportioned face, plastered with a smug smirk. "Well, it's you," she said, walking toward me, ignoring the scandalized murmurs from the rest of the school's population. I knew this would ruin my reputation for good. "I wasn't planning on being here today, but I got an interesting note." She took a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and showed it to me.

The note was written in crude, grade school handwriting and had no signature to identify who had written such a thing. On it were the words, "Go to school tomorrow morning, and you'll find something exciting." It seemed pretty straightforward, though what she would find so exciting at school, I didn't know.

"Is that right?" Haruhi asked brusquely. "Are you sure it wasn't you who left this note? I found it in my room, and no one else was in my house last night."

Did she really think my writing was that bad? It wasn't as neat as Nagato's or as attractive as Asahina's, but it certainly wasn't so laughably ugly.

"Like I read anything you write," Haruhi said. "I only came here today because it was mysterious and promised something exciting. Are you going to deliver or what?"

I must not have been clear. I had nothing to deliver because I didn't write that note. Maybe it was a prank by that kid she tutored.

"Impossible," she said. "Even if he was able to get into my house, he's been out of town this week for some kind of academic competition."

Apparently Haruhi's tutoring yielded as much results as it did suffering if her students were going to competitions. Of course, the kid was supposed to go on to help invent a formula that would lead to the discovery of time travel, so one would think he would have some success in academics. That was off topic, though. The point was that I didn't plant that note.

"I think you're lying about that," Haruhi said. "You're always so unreliable!" She grabbed my tie and jerked me toward her. "I think it's about time you helped me out."

I flinched at the cruel smirk on her face. It was as if the sadistic tendencies underlying her mischievous smiles every time she thought of some new "fun game" was laid bare, and the intensity was increased one hundred fold. With a look like that, I was in no way interested in helping her out.

"Let's go," she said, dragging me from the scene of the crime. "School's useless and boring. Let's go live!"

The reason I don't want to go with you is exactly because I want to live! She would hear none of it, however, and soon she was dashing down the hill, with my body flapping in the wind behind her like a kite. She only paused a few times to look around, deciding where she wanted to go before she bolted off again. Finally, we ended up at the train station, and she quickly pulled me onto one of the cars.

"Where are we going, Haruhi?" I asked her, panting from the exertion of the run.

"I'm not sure yet," Haruhi said. "Somewhere exciting! I want to find something that will get my heart pumping and my adrenalin saturating every neuron!"

I turned my head, a bit put off by her livid intensity. It was fortunate that the car she had shoved me into was coincidentally devoid of other passengers, aside from one middle aged man who seemed to be sleeping. "You know, Haruhi," I said, "There's something to be said about quiet repose..."

"There is," she agreed. "And that something is 'boring.'"

"Isn't it better to be content with what you have?" I said. "Sometimes you end up searching so hard and so far away for what you think will make you happy, that you completely miss what was right in front of you."

Haruhi frowned and huffed. "Don't give me that. If human beings stayed satisfied with the way things were, we would never make any advances. The bronze age, the iron age, the industrial revolution, and the computer age: all of that would never have happened if it weren't for people who wouldn't settle for average. You said something similar back before we created the SOS Brigade, right?" The sparkle in her eyes was frightening. "And that's why you and I are..."

The train bucked fiercely, and as I had not been holding onto anything, it caused me to fall forward. I landed right on Haruhi, my additional body weight knocking her off of her feet. She landed flat on her back with my body draped over her in a way that, if this were some kind of romantic comedy, would cause a complete misunderstanding upon the moment when my love interest randomly walked into the room.

"Kyon!" Haruhi gasped. "What are you doing?" Her face was flushed with what I assumed to be rage. "This... this isn't what I meant about getting my heart pumping. I think..."

"Kyon!" Haruhi gasped. No, you're not accidentally rereading the previous paragraph. In fact, this did happen in immediate succession to the former incident. However, this gasp came from behind me, and when I turned around I saw Haruhi, with her ponytail and pink armband, standing in the doorway of the car, apparently having come from further down the train. Miss Asahina was standing behind her, her eyes wide and her tiny hand covering her mouth cutely.

"N-no, it's not what it looks like!" I said in a panic. I know that if I had been thinking at the time, I would have realized that's the one line no woman who has just walked in on a man doing something that could be interpreted as perverse will ever believe.

"M-Miss Suzumiya..." Asahina said to Haruhi, pulling at her arm. She was then knocked aside as Haruhi retreated from the scene. Asahina lingered for a moment, her eyes full of betrayal. My heart broke seeing that expression on her angelic face. "I'm sorry, Kyon-kun," she said, her voice barely a whimper. "She... she got away and saw you going... I-I couldn't stop her..." she turned and ran after Haruhi (affectionate).

Haruhi (adventurous) had peered over my shoulder the moment Haruhi (affectionate) had turned and fled, and now looked at me with a confused expression. "Was that your girlfriend or something?" she asked. "You really do have balls, two-timing her like that."

"I'd say," the middle aged man who had been sleeping before said. "You're a real playboy, huh, kid?" His face looked wistful. "Oh, what I'd give to have a harem..."

No, I already said it wasn't what it looked like. You really aren't helping matters, either, old man.

"Hm," Haruhi said pensively. "A harem... I wonder... I guess a three-way would be pretty exciting." She looked at me with that horrible look of mischief. "Maybe we can invite Mikuru-chan, too. She'd protest at first, but that's half the fun!"

As usual, Haruhi's behavior was getting out of hand. There was no way I would consent to such a thing, even if the prospect tickled my healthy adolescent fancy. "I don't have a girlfriend," I insisted. "And we're both a little too young to consider such things."

"I guess," Haruhi said, pushing me off of her. "But that's such a boring thing to say. Why don't you do something exciting once in awhile? I know you want to be more than a stick in the mud. You're like me. Join me and together we can live a unique and great life!"

I'll never join you. I'd rather have my hand amputated and jump down a shaft. I disentangled myself from her and backed away. "Listen, I need to go see what... ah... what's going on with Miss Asahina. I'll be back."

Haruhi frowned. "I'm coming with you. I want to see who this girl is." She grabbed my arm and dragged me along after Miss Asahina and her doppelganger.

As we entered the next car, this one full of people, I tried my hardest to dissuade Haruhi from pursuing them, but she boorishly continued to plow through the herd of people. One car after the other she pushed through, until finally we saw Asahina's back, hovering over another girl in a North High uniform and short ponytail.

"There they are!" Haruhi crowed. "Come on, I'm going to get to the bottom of this!"

"No, Haruhi!" I protested, reversing our situations as I used my free hand to grab her while widening my stance. "There's no need to antagonize someone who's obviously upset!" She tried to pull away, but I held my ground. The train was slowing to a stop now, and the doors opened, allowing Haruhi (affectionate) to dash away from Asahina. The time traveler raced after her as well.

"Let go!" Haruhi (adventurous) growled, landing a surprisingly powerful fist in my gut, doubling me over. "They're going to get away!" She ran to the door as well, and I hobbled quickly after her, just barely making it through before the door closed.

I looked around and saw the sway of Haruhi's short skirt as she raced away. I took a step toward her, but was stopped in my tracks by a familiar voice.

"I wonder what will happen when she finally finds herself."

I turned around sharply, anticipating the mocking sneer a moment before actually seeing it plastered on that bastard's face. It was the time traveler from that other faction opposed to Miss Asahina's. He had mocked her and me the first time we had met each other last month, and it seemed he had returned for a second meeting. "What are you doing here?" I asked with hostility in my voice.

"Completing my mission," the sneering bastard said. "Obviously. This six day period was always thought to be a prime time frame in which to cause an irreparable deviance from the static timeline to which that other group clings with such devotion." He barked out a laugh. "Surely you must see the opportunities here. Even we time travelers don't know what's going to happen in this time. My people believe if we can provoke a strong enough response in your little Haruhi, she will do something truly unexpected." After a moment looking as if he were caught in some perverted fantasy, he snorted. "If we don't do anything, though, it may be that she simply reverts to normal, and then history is rewritten back to the way it was recorded. I can't accept that."

In a way I could almost sympathize with this jerk. Nagato had certainly seemed a lot more happy after severing her connection with her future selves, thus not being aware of the future. Wouldn't it be dull knowing exactly what would happen in your life? On the other hand, who was he to play as a god? Reading any Greek drama will soon enlighten you to the fact that to defy fate is to bring tragedy. In any case, I could never understand or forgive his methods.

"I don't need you to understand," the sneering bastard said. "I don't care if you do or not, that's the esper bitch's concern." Once again he was referencing something about which I knew nothing. That's a time traveler for you. "Feh, if this works out you won't need to worry about it, anyway. Why should I care who has the power? As long as this stupid business known as 'time travel' and 'predetermination' is destroyed." He bowed, but even in this it seemed rude and condescending. "I'll take my leave for now. However, we'll be watching you."

I took great comfort in that. I was the one who had to run all over town today, anyway, so please do me a favor and stay out of my way. I rushed off the way I had seen Haruhi going, not bothering to stick around in hopes of seeing whatever flashy time traveling method that sneering bastard used, as if he would ever let me. I ran for nearly a mile before I finally collapsed, panting like a kappa in the desert.

Unexpectedly, my phone began to ring. I answered it breathlessly, and was actually not too surprised to hear the voice on the other end. "Kyon, you sound like you've been running in a marathon."

"Shut up, Koizumi," I said. "What do you want?"

"It seems my Haruhi has slipped away. It seems she saw the ordeal outside the school and has decided that you're the star of a harem manga. She left to try to find you, but it seems you gave her the slip. I don't know where she is, now."

That was just perfect. Next he would probably tell me that Haruhi (studious) had also tried to follow me. Was I the focal point of every facet of Haruhi's existence? I didn't know whether that was flattering or just plain creepy.

"No, you don't have to worry about that," Koizumi said. "That Haruhi hasn't left the classroom since she got to school, and doesn't seem particularly concerned, aside from the occasional annoyed glance at your desk."

That was some relief. I finished our conversation, promising to look for Haruhi (otaku), too. I continued jogging at a more moderate pace until I came to a familiar park. As I slowed to a walk, I saw a girl clad in a North High uniform standing some distance away at an equally familiar bench. I called out to the girl when I was within earshot.

"They were sitting on this bench," she said once I was standing behind her. "Mikuru was holding that girl, and the girl... she was crying."

That made me feel like the lowest scum of the Earth. Imagine: a person who could make Haruhi Suzumiya weep. A person like that would have to be the worst kind of human being imaginable.

"I couldn't help wondering," she said. "The way she looked..."

I braced myself. She had noticed. She had to have noticed.

Haruhi gathered up her hair in her hand and pulled it to the back of her head. "If I wore my hair in a ponytail like this more often would you be able to grow a pair?"

I put my hand on my head, trying to ward off the headache that statement had brought on.

She turned and looked at me with a scowl. "You know, you really piss me off, sometimes. Except for when we first met, you can never take the initiative or stand up to me. You never want to do anything fun, but are content with everything around you." She folded her arms in a haughty manner. "It's the same with the rest of the world. You really are the measure of normalcy, aren't you? The world is full of fun and exciting things, but no one wants to get up off their asses and do anything about it. They want to watch TV and read about fun stuff, but no one ever actually does it. The get up, go to school or work, come back home and do whatever chores they need to do, then lay around until they go to bed." She laughed coldly. "It's disgusting."

I couldn't think of what to say to that. It had just come completely out of left field. I struggled to think of something profound to say. "Well... I think that... sometimes it's best just to be content with what you have. If you always want more and more, you'll never be satisfied, and you'll never be able to just be happy. The best way you can live your live is happily..."

It sounded horrible and cliché, and I imagined that Haruhi was well aware of the emptiness of those words. She looked at me with profound disappointment and walked away without another word. I was rapidly losing my touch. I wanted to go after her. I wanted to grab her and turn her around and say that if we worked together we could find all the excitement and happiness the world had to offer us. I didn't, though. Looking after her, she seemed like a slithering cobra, hood raised and ready to strike any who were foolish enough to come near.

I sat down on the bench, both resting from the strenuous trek and reflecting on what had just transpired. After a few minutes I decided it would be best to just wander around a little more. I didn't really think I would be able to find the other Haruhies, but I also didn't much feel like walking all the way up that damned hill a second time today, especially after having already obviously ditched in front of everyone. My wandering eventually led me to a comics shop, and I decided to go in on a whim.

When I entered, I could see a very excitable looking store clerk dressed in a long green coat and matching cap at the front desk talking loudly into a walkie talkie. I chose to ignore whatever it was he was saying as I roamed the aisles of tankobon. There had been a few new series in Jump, recently, and I thought I might buy a volume of one of these titles if I found one. There was one in particular I found interesting, as it was about espers who could only use their powers in a "closed space" which was devoid of people, and which allowed massive property damage without the inconvenience of being billed for it later. I wondered if the author was somehow linked to Koizumi's organization.

Coincidentally, I happened to find that very manga in one of the shelves. As I reached for it, another pair of smaller, more delicate hands came into my periphery. Inches from the book, my fingers touched the fingers of that hand, and both drew back slightly. I turned my head only to see Haruhi's dumbfounded face, which was strangely redder than normal. It didn't seem that cold, but maybe she was coming down with something.

"Meet Cute scenario…" Haruhi said, almost too softly for me to hear. After a moment's silence, she seemed to get over whatever ailment was afflicting her and smiled in that enigmatic way she did when she was daydreaming about something weird or genuinely having fun. It was the part of her normal smile that perhaps softened her sadistic tendencies which made the adventurous Haruhi so scary. "Well, Kyon, I really wasn't expecting to find you. What happened with those girls of yours?"

"Nothing," I said. "It wasn't what it looked like."

"And how do you know what it looked like?" Haruhi asked. "Are you sure you aren't in some love triangle? Have you been hiding the fact that you have some kind of fiancée from a marriage arranged by your parents when you were a baby, and now you want to keep her secret so you don't ruin your chances with the girl you really like, but now you've rescued a yanke biker girl from a crash which has caused her to fall madly in love with you, and since she's kinda hot you don't really want to say 'no' to her, either, so now you've ended up in a relationship with her due to your poor communication skills?"

While that sounded like a perfectly wonderful plot for a comic, that really wasn't the kind of thing one would expect to find in real life. I explained to her that the biker girl was simply caught up in a fit of hysteria after crashing, and I was nothing more than a victim of such. The girl running after me had been a concerned classmate that ran after us only to help extricate me from my predicament and calm the poor girl down. There was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about that.

Haruhi sighed. "Yeah, I figured it would be something boring like that." She shrugged. "I dunno, Kyon. What do you think of me?"

"What?" I asked, honestly a bit taken aback. "What do you mean 'what do you think of me'? I think you're… well… you know, you're Haruhi."

She shot an annoyed glance at me. I seemed to be rubbing all the sides of Haruhi the wrong way, today. "Don't give me that. Furthermore, that doesn't say anything." I'd like to take the opportunity to note that any misuse of grammar in Haruhi's dialogue is purely her own doing. "Don't be such a grammar Nazi, Kyon. Irregardless, I meant what do you think about my goals for the SOS Brigade?"

And those are…?

"You know, to find espers, aliens, time travelers, and sliders so we can hang out with them," Haruhi replied.

If she had asked me that a year ago, I would have told her an endeavor like that would be foolish. Even if I had believed in them at that time, I would have told her that to find such unique individuals when the vast majority of the population was unaware of their existence was statistically nearly impossible. However, knowing what I do now, it was obviously not only possible, but inevitable that she would find exactly that for which she was looking. I could hardly give her either as an explanation, though. "I think it was a good idea. Even if we never find any sliders or whatnot, it's more fun than anything we'd have been doing otherwise."

Haruhi's face pursed into a thoughtful and somewhat melancholy expression. I hoped what I had said had been helpful. "Well… otherwise we could have just been doing something 'H'."

Dammit, Haruhi. Just saying such a thing… as a normal, healthy teenaged male, it was inevitable what my reaction would be.

Haruhi laughed. "Heh. You're blushing. I knew you were a covert pervert, Kyon." She brushed past me, heading for the door. "Well, I think I'll be going, Kyon. Maybe I'll talk to you later…" Before she made it to the door, she was suddenly accosted by that green capped clerk and his coworkers trying their best to push their merchandise on her. She ignored them, however, and left promptly.

The clerks all collapsed to the ground, lamenting their loss of a sale, apparently. "Curse you, Legendary Girl H!" the man in the green coat grumbled. I made my way swiftly past before they tried to accost "Legendary Boy K."

I made it home later that day, and found a note attached to my door. It should be obvious, but I'll tell you it was in fact from Haruhi.

"Kyon, I need to speak to you tomorrow morning as soon as possible. Love, Haruhi Suzumiya," the note said.

Well, I thought, I would probably be keeping that appointment whether I wanted to or not. All that was left for me now was to spend the rest of my day going about my business until it was time for me to rest. At that point.... Well, I doubted I would be getting much actual sleep.

- - -

I woke up to a bright light. At first I thought that maybe the world had been destroyed while I slept and now I was ascending to heaven. However, that notion was quickly dispelled after I pulled my head up and looked around. I realized I had been slouching in my desk. Meaning, of course, that I was in my classroom. I looked toward the door and saw Haruhi in her school uniform standing with her finger on the light switch. "Kyon," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same question," I said.

"I was sleeping in my bed… but all of a sudden I woke up here," she said. "It… it's just like that time last year…" She looked pensive as she walked toward me, laying her book bag on her desk behind me and looking out the window. "Even the sky… that same angry gray."

I found her description of the sky outside interesting. Gray was usually considered a dull color, though I suppose the gray of storm clouds could be considered angry. Not that there were any such clouds outside. On the other hand, a Sealed Reality was in a very literal way the calm before the storm. I wondered just how aware Haruhi was of her own power or if the description was just a coincidental display of her own eccentric views.

"I wonder what it means… this dream," Haruhi said quietly to herself. "Reoccurring dreams are said to have certain significance, but what about those dreams in which one is trapped with another person of the opposite gender." She turned her head to consider me with an unsettling stare. "Well, I guess that was what woke me up last time…"

I gasped when she grabbed me by the tie and dragged me out of my seat. Throwing me against the wall violently, she pinned me. I prayed to all the spirits in Heaven that no one saw me being so accosted by a girl at least a head shorter than I. My knees, of course, were still bent from being thrown, so when she pinned me I was at about her eye level, my legs shaking around her as I was forced to lean heavily against the wall. She brought her nose to almost touch mine.

"Hey," she said. "Don't make any noise, okay? I just need to do this to wake up. I don't have any time to have any more weird erotic dreams about you."

"Any more"? I didn't exactly have time to question her about her choice of wording, as that very moment she pressed her lips roughly and decidedly unromantically against mine. I tried to struggle out of it, images of Miss Asahina's shocked and heartbroken face flashing through my mind. Surely she would understand that I was being forced into it and derived absolutely no pleasure from this intrusion of my privacy. It was only a few seconds though it seemed like hours, but she finally released me from the torturous prison of her lips.

"Damn, Kyon," Haruhi said, wiping her mouth. "You suck. You know you're supposed to unclench your teeth when I stick out my tongue, right?"

I didn't want to be reminded of that decidedly unpleasant feeling. That cold and slimy organ slipping its way between my lips nearly made me jump out of my skin with horror.

"Eh, whatever," Haruhi said dismissively. "Why are we still here, anyway? I mean, sure, it wasn't as good as the other dream, but a reoccurring dream should be ended the same way each time, right?" She tapped her chin a few times, deep in thought as I attempted to recover from my ordeal. "Unless… do I need to go further, this time?"

I didn't like the sound of that. True to my assumption, Haruhi suddenly began to pull her uniform top off, exposing her bra. I grabbed her arm before she could start undoing her skirt. "Haruhi!" I shouted, trying to snap her out of whatever weird ideas she was having.

She looked up at me with confusion for a moment before realization seemed to dawn on her. "I see. One of those aggressive fantasies." She held up her arms, curling them over her head which pulled her ample assets alluringly abreast. "Go ahead and have your way with me, then. Just don't get too rough, okay… though, I guess since it's a dream it won't hurt, so if you can't help yourself then be my guest."

"Wait, Haruhi," I said in a panic. "This isn't a dream."

"Well, what else could it be, stupid?" Haruhi asked, maintaining her "ready" pose the whole time, which was rather distracting honestly. "I had this same dream a year ago, which I remember pretty clearly. There's no other explanation for us suddenly ending up at school, dressed in our uniforms, with a weird sky outside. I'm willing to bet we'll be stopped by some force field if we go out far enough, too."

Well, that was true enough. On the other hand, I had to convince her somehow that her current course of action was not going to get us out of here. I would never be able to look Miss Asahina in the eyes again if that happened. "Look, Haruhi. Obviously, if this was what was supposed to happen in your dream, I would be going along with it, right?"

"Presumably, but it could be one of those dreams in which I have to seduce you or something," Haruhi said. "Though I can't say I've had one like that before… and if I did, I'd think you'd be a little less annoying than you are right now."

Yeah, whatever. "Listen, aren't dreams supposed to help you work out whatever problems you were having that day? If that's the case, then what problems today involved me and the school?"

"Nothing, really," Haruhi said, finally dropping her arms out of that frustratingly seductive pose. "I mean, you weren't here today which was kind of annoying since I went through all the trouble to give you that study session. With attendance like you've been having, recently, you'll never get into a good college or have a decent job, you know."

"Ah, then that's it!" I said. "We're obviously here because you want to resolve that issue."

Haruhi slapped her fist into her upturned palm. "I understand! It's because I wanted to give you another study session from Hell!" I was suddenly regretting my decision. Maybe the first option wasn't such a bad idea, after all. In fact, thinking back on it, I was obviously insane to reject the idea so hastily in the first place. In any case, I was now powerless to stop her from rummaging through her book bag, pulling out textbooks and notes and arranging them.

"Uh, are you going to put your shirt back on?" I asked when she had finished.

"What?" Haruhi said. "Oh, well… I figured since this was a dream it wouldn't matter much. Besides, I've always thought it would be fun to go around doing normal stuff topless. After all, guys get to do it."

Even guys wouldn't be allowed to go topless in class. "Anyway, it would probably be better if you had your shirt on."

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Fine. You know, for a dream you sure are pushy." She slipped back into her top, though didn't bother to fix it up properly, which didn't bother me in the least as long as I didn't have that strangely magnetic valley staring up at me. We got started, finally, and I somehow managed to struggle through what had to be at least an hour of grueling study. It was grueling mostly due to Haruhi's constant shouting, gesticulating, and eclectic study plan. It wasn't to say she was particularly abusive, aside from the occasional derisive comment concerning the slowness with which I picked up the material, but suffice it to say that calling her "overzealous" was an understatement of dramatic proportions.

Finally, Haruhi had decided our studies were complete. "We've gone over everything of importance," she said. "I don't see how I could possibly help you anymore." She tapped her foot on the floor impatiently. "So, what, is this dream going to end now? Or are we just going to sit here till I wake up this morning?"

I wondered how I was going to take care of this. Obviously there was some reason this Haruhi wanted to remake the universe. I had to do something that would convince her to not go through with it. Of course, a kiss had been enough to do it last time, for reasons I've yet to discover, but that obviously wasn't it this time. It was a bit disappointing. My application for World's Greatest Kisser would have to be put on hold.

"This is stupid," Haruhi said. "Trapped in here trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do to wake up. Maybe I'm not supposed to do anything. Maybe I'm just going to wander around until morning."

I really hoped not. "Well, I don't really know what else we could do," I said. I was hoping that if she left for a moment I'd have some time to think about how to actually get out of this place instead of endless progressions of formulae and conjugations.

Haruhi paced restlessly for a moment before coming to a decision. "Alright, I'm going to book the place again. See if I can find any clues as to how to get out of this dream. I'll be back soon." With that she left me to my own thoughts.

Unfortunately, my thoughts weren't much to brag about. For a good while I sat there staring blankly up at the ceiling. I really didn't have a clue. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I idled shamelessly, and noticed that I had my cell. I pulled it out, wondering if I should play a game. Well, I certainly shouldn't, but I wasn't doing much else that was productive.

That's when I noticed I had a missed event. It was a text message, and it was from Nagato Yuki, no less. I eagerly selected the message, hoping that she had left some vital information or spell that would save me from this fate of being trapped with an overly academically inclined Haruhi.

Yuki N. Pinch me I must be dreaming.

What? Did she get asked out by her secret crush or something? I puzzled over this strange message for awhile before Haruhi stormed into the room.

"I don't know what I'm doing. Searching for a secret lever that will eject me out of my own subconscious?" Haruhi ranted. "This is insane. I know it's a dream, I should just be able to wake myself up, right?"

Not wanting to get into that again, I carefully changed the subject, thinking back to my conversation with another Haruhi. "Say, what do you think of the SOS Brigade?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean what do you really think about going around and trying to find time travelers, aliens, and espers?"

Haruhi scowled at me. "What are you trying to get at?" She huffed. "It was fun."

"'Was'?" I asked.

"Well, yeah. But I know that for me alone to find exceptional people like that when everyone else is clueless is statistically nearly impossible. Of course, that's even if I accept that such things are possible.

"When you get right down to it, there's no scientific basis for telekinetic or psychic abilities in humans. There's no force in nature that could account for it, and any claims have been proven false when tested.

"As for time travel, it's also beyond the scope of reality as all the theories put forward thus far regarding time travel are physically impossible. Take going faster than the speed of light. As one approaches light speed, the amount of energy required approaches infinity. There's no way there's enough energy in the universe to accelerate someone beyond that.

"The same problem exists for aliens. Statistically, the likelihood of finding a planet which could support life is low. Finding one on which intelligent life has developed to our point is even lower. Even if there was another species that did, at sublight speeds it would take way too long to travel to our system, and besides that finding Earth among all the planets in all the star systems would be harder than finding one particular pebble on Mt. Fuji."

I was impressed that Haruhi could even come close to rivaling Koizumi for long windedness without actually making a point. "So… what does that mean?"

"It means that while the SOS Brigade was fun, it's ultimately foolish to waste so much time looking for supernatural beings that can't possibly exist rather than spend our time productively bettering ourselves and thinking about our futures."

That was perfectly reasonable, but it also wasn't Haruhi. "Since when have you cared about anything ordinary like that?"

"Since just recently!" Haruhi said. "But it's not like I didn't care about it before. I just always assumed that I would breeze right through life and end up with a successful career. I was always smart enough to ace anything. But looking at how your grades are struggling because of your involvement with the Brigade…" She frowned and crossed her arms, looking away from me. "Well, it's made me more concerned. It's not just about me, you know. I want all of us to be able to become successful. I'll disband the SOS Brigade, and starting 2nd year, we'll all focus as hard as we can to get into something prestigious like Tokyo University."

I didn't doubt that Haruhi had the brains to get into Tokyo University as well as Nagato and maybe Koizumi. I wasn't sure about Asahina, but I knew there was no way a normal person like me could do it. I suppose I could see why she was pushing me so hard if she had such lofty goals. "You know, we don't have to go to that prestigious a school," I said. "Even if it's just an average college, we can surely all get jobs that allow a comfortable living like everyone else."

"No," Haruhi said with a steely edge to her voice. "I won't settle for any normal college."

So that's where my Haruhi was. It seemed no matter what part of Haruhi was there she never really settled for normal, even if it was the part of her that wanted to be normal. "So you'll settle for being just like the millions of other people who make it into cushy jobs and surround themselves with luxuries?"

"I don't see what other options there are," Haruhi said bluntly. "I'll be normal no matter what I do! There's no way I can find all these special people."

I tried again to probe her. Understand what I could say to make her understand. "Haruhi! Would you rather the universe be just like you're picturing it? Devoid of all mystery and only existing as superficial? The Haruhi I know wouldn't settle for that!"

Haruhi shot out of her chair and slammed her hands on her desk angrily. "Hey!" she said. "I've wanted to meet an alien since as far back as I remember. Of course I don't _want_ the universe to be like that! But I've accepted that the universe _is_ like that, and if it is I just want to get a great job, marry a guy with a great job and loads of cash, and raise a family. Isn't that all you want, too?"

Well, I could do without marrying the guy, but sure I would. Anyone would want to have a good job and happy family. "But isn't there more? Don't you need some impossible dreams to chase after? Galileo, Gandhi, the Wright brothers: they all had dreams and ideas that seemed impossible at the time and that everyone dismissed. But they had the courage and daring to change their world. You're the kind of person, Haruhi, who can change the world. You've changed mine already."

She gave me a weird look. "Are you okay? No, of course you're okay. You're a dream." She shook her head. "You're not making any sense, though I guess dreams don't, do they?"

I stood up, determined to somehow get through to Haruhi. I had to make her understand that I didn't want her to be different. "I liked Haruhi the way she was before!"

"Eh?" Haruhi asked, obviously dumbfounded.

"I want you to drag us off to the park to look for aliens, espers, and time travelers. I want you to give me penalties when I'm late. I want to see you kick down the door of our club room and commit random acts of violence." I was obviously off my rocker, but I put every drop of conviction I had behind those words.

Haruhi looked at me with a face full of skepticism and unease. "I know for sure the real Kyon would never say something like that." She put her hand to her head and turned, as if she had just developed some kind of migraine. "Listen, go away. I don't want to have anything to do with this dream, anymore."

"Haruhi!" I said, feeling an aggressiveness born of desperation. "The events of last year have taught me more than I ever could learn from a book. The things I've experienced because of you have made me grow in ways I'd never thought possible. And it's not only me. Even you should have noticed how much Nagato has changed. She's more expressive and open than ever before. I wouldn't trade those experiences for all the money in Japan!"

Haruhi was walking away now, looking a bit tipsy for some reason. What was this? I couldn't begin to fathom how this girl I'd known for so long was just walking away from me, dismissing me and everything I believed as a…

_Pinch me, I must be dreaming._

Maybe it was a little of my pent up anger at Haruhi's past crimes coming to the surface or maybe it was a stroke of genius, but for whatever reason I found myself grabbing Haruhi and turning her around. Her eyes shimmered with confusion and a little indignant anger. With an unintelligible grunt, I swept my palm across Haruhi's face, an audible smack filling the room.

"One of these days, we may have to worry about jobs and money," I breathed, my voice cracking with emotions whose origins I couldn't begin to grasp. "But to be frank, I think what we experience for ourselves here and now is what will make us special individuals. Who but the SOS Brigade has produced the Adventures of Asahina Mikuru? Who but we could defeat the Computer Club at their own game? Who else could have figured out the mystery of the haunted street? All those things are our unique bits of knowledge, and that's more valuable than anything we'll learn from a book!"

"Kyon…"

"I won't give up the SOS Brigade!"

Haruhi's hand cradled her reddened cheek as she bore her sparkling eyes into mine. "Kyon…" Her knees started to buckle, but I leaned in to catch her. "This… this isn't a dream, is it?"

"I tried to tell you that," I said. "It's not."

Haruhi laughed before finally passing out. I set her down easily. Was that it? She simply went unconscious. I seemed to recall my previous experience being a lot more violent at the end.

_Crack!_

Yes, that was a bit more like it. From outside, I could hear the fracturing of the Sealed Reality. Bright red lines glowed in midair as I looked outside, and I was overcome with a feeling of awe. I wondered if Haruhi and I were going to remain in this world as it came apart around us. I realized that I had never seen it break apart completely. Would we then go back to our actual reality? Would we instead be flung into whatever oblivion these broken realities were condemned?

I didn't get a chance to see, unfortunately, because as a large chunk of sky fell, the red light suddenly flared blue and I felt a sudden surge of pain in my skull. I collapsed to my knees as the blue fissures seemed to fill my vision. They even began to appear on my own body. The pain increased as the fractures did. I crawled my way over to Haruhi and grabbed her hand, determined not to be separated from her if we should indeed be flung into emptiness. The moment my cracked hand touched hers, though, I saw a black veil descend over my eyes and reality simply fade away.

- - -

"Kyon!"

I stirred, my back feeling rather stiff, as if I'd been sleeping on the floor or something for awhile.

"Hey, you idiot, get up!"

Irately, I opened my eyes. It was still dark, though there was a faint blue glow coming from all around. Looking around, I realized I was outside for some reason. In fact, I was on a park bench. In a park. Sitting up, I looked in the direction of the voice that had called to me.

"It's about time… you woke up!" the incredible figure before me said. "You must be a pain to wake up in the morning."

It was Haruhi. Another Haruhi. And this was another Sealed Reality, I realized as I saw the distinct gray of the reality's night sky. And that blue glow was most definitely Shinjin. Human-sized Shinjin that Haruhi was fighting bare-knuckled.

I want to be perfectly clear here: the Universe was doomed as far as I was concerned.


	6. Chapter 5

**Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun  
**_(The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya)_

Chapter 5:

When I woke up to find that a delinquently dressed Haruhi was engaged in a brawl with mini Shinjin, especially after I had just been through one ordeal with a Haruhi in a Sealed Reality, I was pretty much ready to throw my hands up in defeat. It wasn't that those Shinjin looked like they would be any huge challenge. In fact, unlike the big ones I usually saw, these were much more human shaped, with defined glowing red eyes and mouths in the normal spaces. They also weren't much taller than I. Not to mention that Haruhi seemed to be taking them out rather easily.

Of course, when Haruhi spotted me, I saw that wild eyed expression of joy on her face and had no clue how I was going to convince this crazed maniac not to destroy the world and remake it with all the glowing opponents she could handle. "Come on, Kyon," she shouted, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me off the bench on which I'd awoken. "We need to get out of here. Reinforcements are definitely coming our way!"

We ran for a short distance before we came across a vehicle of some kind parked in the middle of the field. I say "vehicle," because I wasn't entirely sure how else to classify it. It was on two wheels, which would prompt one to categorize it as a motorcycle, but it looked like it was straight out of a scifi anime, approximating something like a tank. Haruhi shoved me into the sidecar, which for some reason was mounted with heavy artillery, and she hopped into the driver's seat, revving the engine before starting up what I can only assume were booster rockets.

"Haruhi!" I shouted in alarm. "Where did this thing come from? What were those… other things? And what are we doing here in the first place?"

"I have no idea!" Haruhi said happily. That wasn't really the tone one should take in this situation. "I just woke up here and suddenly these glowing guys attacked me!" She took a moment to press a button that fired missiles from the front of the tank bike at a crowd of the mini Shinjin. "I think they're something like that giant thing that showed up a year ago."

I gulped. So she remembered that. "Wasn't that just a dream?"

Haruhi laughed. "Whether it was or not, I don't really care! This is too much fun for me to look a gift horse in the mouth."

Well, I supposed my original plan of slapping her into submission would have to be put on hold. Besides, I was afraid this Haruhi would just take it as an invitation to commit more grievous bodily harm on my person. I was shocked out of my reverie when something landed on the front of the tank bike. Something, I'm afraid, in knee high socks.

"Ryoko!" Haruhi exclaimed. Looking up, I confirmed that it was indeed that face that had haunted my nightmares glaring down on us from atop the moving vehicle. However, she was not quite as I'd remembered her. She had that knife wielding psychopath look to her with which I was familiar, but out of her uniform wires twisted around her body and metal devices covered her skin, even including a red optical implant in her right eye. She looked every bit the alien machine that she actually was.

Ryoko Asakura raised her hand and said, "Haruhi Suzumiya. Resistance is futile. The only way out… is death!" From her hand came a long knife's blade, and she lashed at Haruhi with it, though Haruhi was quick enough to dodge the initial strikes.

Haruhi then reached beside her and with the ring of metal sounding in my ears, she clashed a new object against Ryoko's blade. It was a sword. I had no idea where Haruhi had gotten a sword, but I figured at this point it would be fruitless to ask why or how anything that was happening was happening. It was all beyond my ability to conceive.

The clanging of weapons went on for only a few seconds as Haruhi somehow continued driving without hitting anything. Finally, Haruhi slashed Ryoko's stomach, and a glowing blue fluid began to escape. She then decapitated Ryoko, which would have been a truly horrific sight if I had not seen the victim impale another of my good friends last year.

Haruhi finally applied the brakes as Ryoko's body fell off the bike, turning into the same gelatinous looking glowing substance Shinjin were made of before dissolving completely. Looking around I could see why we had stopped. Apparently, we were now surrounded by a mob of people. At least, they looked like real people. I even saw Taniguchi, Kunikida, and Tsuruya in the crowd, eyes glowing red and moving like zombies of some sort.

"There's no way you guys will win against me!" Haruhi said, untying her hair ribbon and whipping it away. "Come on, Kyon! It's time for us to bust some heads!" She rushed off ahead of me and started slashing at the replicas of our friends and schoolmates. They all seemed to bleed neon blue and dissolved into Shinjin when defeated. I only observed this from watching Haruhi work, of course. My own activities consisted mainly of running away from these things. There was no way I was going to let myself get involved in this kind of thing.

It was a matter of minutes before Haruhi had dispatched the last of the zombies, and she seemed to be enjoying herself greatly, in spite of the exertion evident in her sweaty brow and heaving chest. She straightened up and laughed. "I told those guys they couldn't beat me!" She looked to the gray horizon. "But that's not the end of it! I know…"

True to her word, a monstrous Shinjin rose from the trees and began to wreak havoc on its surrounding as per its usual routine. "Yeah," Haruhi said breathlessly. "That thing… that one's not our enemy. That's what's going to help wipe away our boring old world and make something better. More exciting!"

Was what we had just been through her definition of "better?" That wasn't excitement I was too excited about. I grabbed Haruhi's arm and said, "Wait a minute, Haruhi! We can't just leave everything behind like this! What about our friends and family?"

"There's no need to go into this," Haruhi said stubbornly. "I might have listened before, but this is different! I finally see that my attachments are what held me back. Even you're still holding me back. I ought to get rid of you, too."

"Then why don't you?" I asked.

Haruhi pouted. "Because! I need someone I can trust to help me out, you know. Maybe if I work on you enough you'll eventually get brave enough that you really won't hold me back, too. I figure I can train at least one person, right?"

"But I don't want this!" I said, trying my best to reason with her. "There's nothing wrong with a little adventure, but you need to have something else, too."

"Nothing else can make me feel this alive!" Haruhi declared. "Why can't you understand that?"

"I don't," I said. "Because without those attachments and the hand prints you leave in people's hearts, you're not really alive!"

Haruhi snorted and turned away. "Whatever. Nothing you say will stop this."

"But I can," another voice said from behind the both of us. I turned and saw a figure I would never have expected to see. However, the light hair, beautiful face, and curvaceous body were unmistakable. Standing before us was Miss Asahina. Not the cute young one who was an active SOS Brigade member, but the older one from the future. In her hands, furthermore, was a pole at least two meters long. She spun it around herself in a fancy manner that made it look like she knew how to use it, and the look in her eyes made it look like she fully intended to do so.

Behind me, Haruhi whipped her sword around as well. "I don't know exactly who you are, but your martial arts are no match for mine."

Apparently, Miss Asahina (big)'s extremely close similarity to Miss Asahina (small)'s appearance made no impression on Haruhi. I decided that would be a good moment, however, to get out of the two women's way. They charged at each other and started to fight. I was honestly quite surprised with how skilled Miss Asahina was. She was dressed in much less formal clothing that would allow great freedom of movement, but that hardly accounted for her incredible speed and flexibility.

The pole Miss Asahina was using had the advantage over Haruhi's sword in terms of length, so she was keeping her well at bay while popping her smartly in her limbs and head. I winced as the older woman began to thrust the pole into Haruhi's gut, knocking Haruhi back and causing her to cough painfully. "Your Prince Charming can't save you," Miss Asahina taunted.

"I don't need anyone," Haruhi said. "People just get in my way." She charged Miss Asahina again, but the older woman incredibly leaped over Haruhi, flipping in midair and hitting Haruhi in the back of the head in mid jump. Haruhi stumbled and dropped her sword, and then Miss Asahina attacked full force.

I was frozen as I watched the carnage. This had to be some kind of Shinjin fighting Haruhi so brutally, but if that was the case did it mean Haruhi wanted to be beaten? No, she wasn't the type to ever wish to lose at anything. But if that was the case, Miss Asahina (big) was truly shadier than I'd first suspected. How could my sweet, young Miss Asahina grow up to be able to do something like this? I couldn't accept it.

Regardless of what I thought of the situation, Miss Asahina finished swatting the smaller Haruhi around and reached into her pocket, saying, "If that's how you're going to think, then I have no choice." In her hand she held a small device which she pointed at Haruhi, who was panting on all fours currently, completely unable to defend herself at this point. Suddenly my legs unfroze, prompted by some primal force to move forward. There was no way I would let Haruhi get disintegrated by some futuristic phaser, of course, but it seemed that I had lost all thoughts of self preservation in that instant and threw myself over Haruhi's body. I then felt a sharp pain starting in my back and spreading out through my body, causing me to spasm. I fell to the ground, unable to move, the darkness closing in on me.

"Kyon!" I heard Haruhi shout, her face hovering over mine. Her eyes glistened with sorrow and fear. "Kyon, what did you think you were doing?"

"My body just moved on its own," I said. I reached up with a shaking hand and put it to Haruhi's cheek. I don't know what possessed me to move further. Perhaps it was death's grip giving me some final courage. Whatever the case, I lifted my head up at the same time as my hand pulled Haruhi's face down, and our lips met for a moment. Then my head fell back and I said, "When it comes to protecting my most important people, I'll even lay down my life."

Behind Haruhi's shocked expression, the sky cracked. Then, Haruhi shot me a funny expression, facial muscles twitching before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed on top of me. I turned to see Miss Asahina pointing that weapon at us. Had she just killed Haruhi as well?

"Get up Kyon-kun," she said.

Get up? Wasn't I dead? I couldn't get up!

Miss Asahina lifted the weapon in her hand. "It's a stun gun. I got it at a store right here in this timeline."

Ah, yes. I recalled Miss Asahina (small) saying something about not being able to take weapons along. I supposed a stun gun from my time would be acceptable. "So… what just happened?"

Miss Asahina looked up at the sky, which continued to crack. "I had to go through some unusual methods to get here," she said. "Normally, time travelers wouldn't be able to get to this place as it doesn't exist in any specific time frame. Regardless, I've been told there are more than one Sealed Reality, as you may have gathered. It seems each Haruhi is calling out for you in succession, so you alone are the one who is able to travel to each. Thankfully, we are still able to help you out a little. In this case, the reports of my younger self from this tangent time frame allowed me to calculate the exact type of stimulation which would inspire this Haruhi to abandon her drive to remake the universe. In this case, proof of your ability to give up everything for her sake."

I guess she had counted on Haruhi being as hasty as I in assuming Miss Asahina had brought some futuristic lethal weapon, as well, instead of a simple stun gun, which would have been the more logical assumption in most situations.

"Well, Haruhi does have the tendency to believe strange things, and it was rather dark. On the other hand, I counted on you believing it was more than that due to the fact that you know what I really am, and I had to convince you that I might kill her with that performance." She bopped herself on her head and stuck out her tongue. "I am sorry about that, but it seemed necessary."

I looked down at my hands, cracking blue, and back at her who was still completely whole.

"I'm the only thing in this world that isn't supposed to be here, so I need to leave before everything comes crashing down around me." Miss Asahina explained. "Now, remember, always be true to yourself." Before I could wonder what she meant by that, she twisted around and delivered a kick to my neck, causing everything to white out.

- - -

I woke up in a soft bed. In fact, as I raised my groggy head, it seemed to be my own room, but it was a bit bigger and I realized that this bed was definitely a king sized and far too comfortable to be anything I owned. Not to mention there were way more pillows on the bed than was reasonable.

It was only moments after I regained my senses that the door suddenly burst open and a familiar figure rushed in, sakura dancing around her like something out of a girl's manga. Her hair was longer than yesterday, almost as long as it had been when we'd first met, in fact. It was also tied into that style I'd found so striking a year ago. The oddest part, though, was that she was dressed in a blindingly white, frilly dress complete with a veil and bouquet.

"When's the wedding, Haruhi?" I asked. It was really the only logical thing I could think of to say at the time.

"Kyon-chan!" she said happily as she saw me, but then she blushed and looked away, almost demure if such an expression were possible for Haruhi. "Y-you look nice."

I looked down at myself and realized I was wearing a snazzy tuxedo. I didn't want to think about how my clothes had managed to be changed while I was unconscious. "Haruhi... what's going on?"

"I don't know," she said. "I was having trouble sleeping... I kept thinking about... well... I finally got to sleep, and then I woke up here. I was dressed in this beautiful gown and my hair..." she shook her long ponytail expressively. "Well, I can tell you these aren't extensions, though I don't know how this happened. Do you like it?"

"Yeah..." I shook my head. "Wait a minute! That doesn't matter right now. So you woke up here... then what?"

"I don't know..." Haruhi said. "I left the room and looked around. I realized it was your house, though I didn't really think you'd have such a comfortable room. Anyway, I just went to look around and then came back in here to find you..."

Well, it seemed that I was once more trapped within a Sealed Reality, this time with the affectionate version of Haruhi—the one who most wanted to pursue normal relationships. That is, as normal as they got for Haruhi. Apparently her realities were becoming more personalized now, either due to being in an advanced stage of development for the eventual new "real" reality or perhaps due to her somehow having more control over the expression of her powers. Either way, I didn't like the way this Haruhi's subconscious was spinning this one. I looked at my left hand just to be sure.

Haruhi had seen my glance, apparently, and looked to her own left hand to come to the same revelation I had. Well, not quite the same. I had adorned on my finger a plain golden band, which instantly brought my personal reality crashing down around me. On Haruhi's hand was a pair of rings, all studded with flashy diamonds, though one had a diamond at least as big as a cherry on it. Apparently, Haruhi subconsciously thought I was secretly rich. "Holy shit, Kyon-chan!" she said. "Do you realize what this means?"

Apparently it meant you needed your vision checked if you didn't notice a rock that big on your hand.

"Shut up, Kyon-chan," Haruhi said. "I noticed before, I just didn't make the connection until I saw yours, too." She crossed her arms across her chest puffed in pride. "We must have traveled to the future!"

Well, that was actually the last conclusion I'd expected her to draw. It was my mistake, as even if her priorities had inexplicably reorganized themselves, she was still Haruhi.

"Yes, we have traveled to the future where we must have already worked things out and become married!" Haruhi scratched her head wonderingly. "You know... I think Mikuru-chan may have had something to do with it. Kyon-chan! I remember you once suggesting that Mikuru-chan was a time traveler. What if what you'd said as a joke was actually true? She did say she would try to work things out for us... maybe she sent us into the future so we could experience our happy married life in the future!"

Haruhi really knew how to aggravate me. It figures the one time when she actually believed me would be when she thought she deduced it all on her own. Anyway, the problem with her theory was obviously that we both still looked the same age in spite of the fact that we were dressed for our marital ceremony. Unless we married before graduating high school, which is doubtful as there was little chance that I'd have been able to get the money for that ring in that time, then we've obviously simply been dressed up in these outfits in our sleep.

"Who on Earth would do that?" Haruhi asked. "Besides, look at my hair. It would take at least a year to grow this out. Who's to say it hasn't been that amount of time. We're both of the age of consent, and who knows what could have happened in that time?"

What about my parents, though? Why were we in their house if we were marrying? Shouldn't children leave their nests at that point? Besides, neither they nor my little sister were here, which seemed rather odd if the oldest son had just been married.

Haruhi smacked her fist in her palm. "I got it! Your dad got a huge promotion, which gave him enough cash flow to let you buy this ring, and he also had to transfer which meant he'd have to leave this place, but since you decided to propose to me, your parents left it to us while they and your little sister moved to Tokyo or something."

That scenario was ridiculous and contrived.

"Come on, Kyon!" Haruhi shouted. "Why can't you just accept this? We're married, now. Do you not want that?"

I didn't. For one thing, I was only seventeen, and for another she was insane. It was hard enough having to deal with her during school hours and the occasional after-school activity, but if I actually married Haruhi, I'd probably be dead within a month.

"I know," Haruhi said. "We're still wearing our wedding outfits. That must mean it happened just today."

I didn't see where she was going with that, or how it would solve our issue.

"Well, obviously, we haven't had time to consummate. I know I'd be completely out of this thing at the first excuse, and I certainly wouldn't have put it back on. It's not exactly comfy, you know." She began to reach behind her, squirming like a dying eel as she tried to grasp the zipper of her dress. "Hey, could you unzip me?"

I idly wondered why it was that the most normal Haruhies were also the most prone to make some kind of aggressive sexual overture toward me in these Sealed Realities. In any case, I got up and grabbed her wrists. "No, I don't really think that's necessary."

"What?" Haruhi said. "Don't worry if you're not good, I've never done it, either. I'm sure once we do, though, you'll see things my way."

That was a possibility, but I didn't really want to see things her way at this point. I already knew what was happening, and I didn't think giving into teenage hormones were going to help this time, regardless of the results before.

"Kyon-chan..." Haruhi said, her voice suddenly soft and demure, two adjectives that when applied to my reality warping crackpot of a brigade leader would have shattered all credibility the person conjoining them would have had with me. "I need to know something. It's really important."

I felt uncomfortable with the sudden serious atmosphere, and even more so when she grasped my hands in a pleading gesture. "Um... okay, what is it?"

"What do you..." her eyes darted from side to side as if anxious about something. "That is... well... what do I do for you?"

"What do you... do?" I said in confusion. "Aside from confuse me?"

"You're such a smart ass," Haruhi said bluntly. It was nice for my efforts to be recognized; usually she just ignored my witty repartee. "I mean... what is it I do that makes you stay around. What keeps you with me?"

"Strong arm tactics, mostly," I said.

If were to have held up a mirror to Haruhi at that moment, the reflection of her gaze would have probably killed her instantly. On the other hand, while I did not normally travel in groups of three or carry a sickle, my cunning nature must have been sufficient to afford some protection. "If you want to go gallivanting off with some... some ugly tramp, that's your business, but I need to know... I need to know..." she paused, apparently grasping for the words. "Hell with it," she said angrily and took off her rings and threw them in my face. "If you can't figure it out, I don't wanna be married to you!"

Well, maybe now she would let me out of this crazy place. Either that or she would destroy everything and force me to suffer for all eternity. Maybe it was best to just say something uncharacteristic like, "I want to eat only your home cooking from now on." It wasn't that I didn't feel anything for Haruhi. There was a good reason I had wanted to change things back to the way they were last December, and it wasn't because I particularly preferred the weirdness in general.

"Haruhi," I said. "If... if I were more enthusiastic about hunting aliens and other weird things, would you still feel the same way about me as you do now?"

Haruhi looked at me like I had grown another head. Actually, I should say "like a normal person would if I had grown another head," as Haruhi would have probably looked much more eager. "Well... I guess. I don't know why I wouldn't..."

"Really?" I asked. "But do you think I would still be who I am if I suddenly changed like that? Would you prefer that I be a different person?"

"N-no.. I mean... I don't know," Haruhi said, looking puzzled. "I guess... I guess maybe it would be different if you were like that. You wouldn't get in my way, which would make me happier, but... on the other hand..."

"You trust me to be the voice of reason, right?" I asked.

"I wouldn't put it like that," Haruhi said. "I'm reasonable..."

"You're a very unreasonable person," I responded immediately. She looked taken aback, but I continued. "You're loud, pushy, and sometimes, if I didn't know better, I'd suspect you were a complete sociopath."

"K-Kyon," she said, her face crinkled into an expression of rage and her eyes shimmering with what were unmistakably tears. However, I wasn't finished, yet.

"You also care for your friends, you motivate those around you, and you make life interesting. All of these things are what makes Haruhi who she is." I looked at the band on my finger and felt an icy determination well up inside me. "You... you're not Haruhi. You have many things in common, but Haruhi would never abandon or even put on hold her search for strange things and uncommon happenings. For nearly a week now, all you've cared about was normal things, when the Haruhi I know would rather jump in a lake than have anything to do with ordinary things like 'boyfriends.'"

"That's not true!" Haruhi said. "I've always cared about that kind of stuff. You know, the only reason I had us go to Tsuruya's estate on that treasure hunt was so I could be with all of you, and do something for you for Valentine's Day. Isn't that normal? It's just that I made a decision to be more honest with that part of myself."

"That's the problem," I said. "You're honest with that part, but at the cost of the others. The old Haruhi would like to spend time with her friends like a normal girl, but the part of her that craves the fantastic would have to justify it by framing it in an adventure setting. By being so honest with the part of you that wants to build relationships, you're denying that part, as well as others. An excellent student, an exciting adventurer, and an eccentric otaku: all these things are aspects of Haruhi that I admire, but all these things you've let go of in pursuit of only one aspect." I pulled the ring off of my finger and dropped it, along with hers, onto the floor.

"If I were to marry any Haruhi, it would only be that Haruhi. The real one whom I've known since a year ago."

Haruhi collapsed onto the floor as she saw the rings clatter together at my feet, and a tear dripped from her eyes. "No... no... I'm still me... I'm still..." She put her face into her hands and whimpered. "I... I didn't really want to give it up... but I thought it's what you would want..."

I looked at her with some feeling of self loathing. I couldn't seem to stop making this one cry. I wondered idly if I ever made the real Haruhi cry. Certainly, she never would have done so in front of me like this. I felt more than heard the cracking of the sky outside, and it wasn't long before the cracks invaded my room and crept up my body.

"Haruhi," I said as she continued to weep, her hands still cupped around her weeping face, unaware of this reality falling apart around her. "I'll see you..."

- - -

I was ready when I awoke again. I knew that the last Haruhi would be the otaku. I figured she might be the most difficult to break out of this place, as this one was convinced that the world was too boring yet still remained obsessed with aliens, time travelers, espers, etc. In this way she was the most like the Haruhi who had nearly destroyed the world last time.

I scoped the area as I got up. I was on the street, actually. There were buildings and sidewalks all around, but I couldn't see anyone at all. There was a shinjin in the distance breaking buildings, but it didn't seem to be heading this way, yet. That was good. I also realized I wasn't too far from the park. This seemed very familiar to me, and—sure enough—I had a sudden epiphany when I saw a familiar shop. "The comic store," I said to myself. Where else would she be?

I walked toward the store cautiously, wondering how exactly I was going to convince Haruhi that she shouldn't destroy the world. It certainly couldn't be as easy as last time. After all, it hadn't been the key with the others. Fortunately, I again had help.

Moments before my hand touched the door to enter, I saw a red glow reflected in the glass. Turning around, I saw light formed into a familiar human shape. It was much like before. Koizumi had entered this Sealed Reality and was now going to help me, apparently.

"You're mostly right," Koizumi's voice said. "We only had enough power that I could enter just one of these spaces, and I figured this would be the one in which I could best help you."

Well, I appreciated the help, as I wasn't too comfortable with my ability to "wing it" in this situation.

"You've done well so far," Koizumi assured me. "But I'll make this quick. The other Sealed Realities haven't collapsed like we thought, yet. In fact, they seem to have merged into one large bubble. It may be that you'll have to neutralize all the Miss Suzumiyas in order to collapse all the Sealed Realities completely. It's six o'clock in the morning right now, and at the current rate of growth, the combined bubbles will spread across the entire Earth in half an hour."

Thirty minutes? Somehow, that didn't sound right. In any case, I hoped Haruhi was in a malleable mood. Koizumi's form was now diminishing as he lost his grasp on this reality.

"Just remember what you know about this Haruhi. She doesn't believe our world has anything fantastic about it, but desires that more than anything." He was now nothing more than a red ball, and shrinking faster. "I think you'll know what needs to be done..."

He disappeared. He was about as useful as always, too, reminding me of what I already knew. I entered the store, no more sure of what I was doing than before. I saw Haruhi standing in the store in a pink sweater and white skirt. She was reading, of course, and didn't immediately take notice of me. "Haruhi," I said as I approached.

Haruhi started and turned. "Kyon?" she asked. "What are you doing in this place?" She looked behind me at the doors and the Shinjin in the background thrashing about. "Of course... this is like that last time."

"That's right," I said. "We're in a Sealed Reality. If we stay here for much longer, the world will fall apart and we'll be destroyed." It was blunt, but I figured it was important to get her to realize the urgency of the situation as soon as possible.

Haruhi laughed. "No, that's not it. This is probably a dream... or maybe I've finally cracked up and am hallucinating all this. If it is real, though... I have a feeling we won't be destroyed. Those things out there... they're friends. They're making a better world for us."

"Don't we have a good enough world where we were?" I asked. "What about all our friends and family?"

"They'll be there, too," she said.

"It won't be the same. Things will never happen the way they would have, and aren't you curious about that?"

"Not really," she said. "Everything will keep going the way it always has. Boring and tedious, with not a drop of the supernatural or special."

"I don't think I want us to leave our world, Haruhi," I said.

"Who cares what you think?" she snapped back. "No matter what I do, I can't seem to trigger any flags with you. Why should I care, now?"

"Such vague jargon doesn't have any effect on me," I said. "Can it be that fantasy is all you care about? Can't you live a unique life without knowing people who can read minds or something?"

"Normal people are all the same no matter what," she said, her ire obviously rising.

"It shouldn't matter what other people are doing or feeling," I said. "Isn't what matters most is how you feel and experience things? Even if a billion people have had the same experience, the first time you experience something, isn't it exciting and new?"

"That's not enough for me."

I was getting fed up with this. She was definitely the same girl I'd argued with last time. That could only mean one thing: it was time for my world saving super lips to play their trump card. I grabbed Haruhi and pulled her to me, locking our flesh together. Her body melted into me after a moment of shocked rigidity and I caressed her with a growing feeling of affection. I had to admit that, feeling her yield to me so femininely, maybe she would make some man a good wife some day.

Scratch that, she wouldn't make a good wife for a dog. After only a brief moment of tenderness, in which I assumed she would decide something (specifically, my awesome kissing abilities) about the old world was exciting enough to save, she then pushed me away and slapped me across the face. "What the Hell do you think you're doing?"

"I was... uh..." I was at a loss for words, actually.

"What, you think you can just suddenly decide to push yourself on me, now? You're just a normal human! Nothing special about you at all! It's too boring. I might have considered at one point... but, no, I'm not going to settle for anything less than a badass alien time traveler with super powers!"

So it seemed my plan to duplicate my former success had failed. Furthermore, moments after her indignant shout, the store began to shake on its foundations. A Shinjin was right outside, stomping on one of the nearby buildings. We were quickly becoming screwed.

"It's almost time," Haruhi said. "I... I don't know what exactly is going to happen, but once this... creature finishes what its doing... the world will be a better place. There really will be wonderful mysteries to solve... things I can discover that no one else knows!"

That was it. I knew I had the real trump card that would convince Haruhi that there was something fantastic in our world to discover. But should I use it? There wasn't any other choice in my mind. It was my last hope.

"Haruhi," I said. "There are things in our world that have yet to be discovered." I took a breath and continued. "For instance... I am John Smith."

Haruhi whirled around, a confused look on her face. "Wh-what? What are you...?"

"Tanabata, four years ago," I said. "You met a North High School student who introduced himself as 'John Smith.' He had a girl with him who was unconscious. You had this student help you write a symbol which meant 'I am here' in chalk on the East Jr. High field. That student was me."

"That's... that can't be..."

"Then how do you explain how I know this?" I asked. "You never told anyone about him, did you? Besides that, how do you suppose I still look as old as I did then if it were really me?"

It didn't take long for Haruhi to realize that there wasn't any good explanation for how I would know of the events. I could tell because all of a sudden I heard a huge crack form in the sky. Smaller cracks began forming all throughout the reality after that. "Kyon... so you...?"

I nodded. "That's right."

She grinned. "You're some kind of immortal!"

As the Sealed Reality crumbled around us, I could only hold my head in exasperation. If one person could get my confession completely wrong, it was her. I didn't have a chance to correct her, however, because everything soon went white.

Then everything went dim again and I was standing in the same store with Haruhi passed out in front of me. What the Hell was this? Didn't I stop Haruhi from wanting to destroy the world? What happened to waking up suddenly in bed and hitting my head on the floor? Were we still in the Sealed Reality or had we for some reason simply exited into the real world equivalent of where we had been before. If that were the case, then it seemed prudent to gather Haruhi and exit the premises before we encountered any difficulties with the law.

When I exited the building with Haruhi in my arms, I noticed that it was unusually bright out. It certainly didn't seem like the usual turbulent gray of the Sealed Reality, but it was in no way the normal morning sky. It was a vibrant, red sky that almost seemed like it was on fire. I jogged my way through the city, still carrying Haruhi, and saw that the city was still empty. I couldn't keep up my pace, sadly, though I should say I did much better than I might have the year before. That hill was good for something, it seemed. I kept trundling on in the direction of Haruhi's house. I supposed that at the very least, if she woke up it could be back at her place, and then maybe she would merely think of it as a dream.

It took me at least twenty minutes to get to her home, but when I did I found myself shocked to see a group of people loitering around. Wait a minute. I recognized that girl from Miss Asahina (small)'s abduction. A few of the others had been there, as well.

"Kyon," that girl said as she saw me. "Well, I'm surprised to see you."

I couldn't say I was pleased to see her. I couldn't forgive anyone who would kidnap my fragile flower. These were the rivals of Koizumi's Organization, as well, and apparently had similar powers.

"I can't say this was intentional on our part," she said. "I wonder if this is due to some shift in the balance of power. Did our true creator cause this?"

I had no idea what she was going on about, but I wasn't curious enough about some girl's rambling to waste time asking. "Get out of my way," I told her. "I need to bring Haruhi inside."

"Suzumiya?" she said. "No, I don't think so. I don't know why we're here, but I do know that we're meant to guard this place at all costs from you." The girl crossed her arms and smirked. "We can't let you stop this."

In a foolish display of courage, I ran toward the group, intent on barreling through them. However, that girl's hands glowed blue and light shot like a bullet at me. I tried to dodge out of the way, but I was too slow. A flash of red and blue exploded in front of me and knocked me backward to the ground.

"I'm glad I didn't get here too late."

I looked up and saw Koizumi, glowing in his red esper aura. How was it that he was here, I wondered.

"It seems this Sealed Reality is not closed to me as previous ones had been, though I am the only one of the Organization who was able to enter. Apparently, this one has been growing completely sealed from our perception. I've never seen Miss Suzumiya use her powers so deftly."

"K-Koizumi...?" Haruhi said from on top of me. "Hey... I was just thinking about you." She sat up and looked around. "What's going on?"

"There's no need to worry," Koizumi said. "I can take care of this. My power is currently at 120%. This place is completely saturated with Miss Suzumiya's energy."

"My... energy?" Haruhi asked, confused. "What do you mean?"

This wasn't the time to explain it to Haruhi, however. The leader of the other group of espers glared at Koizumi with more than a little confidence, her own aura blue. "You may not have noticed," she said. "But we have power here, as well. We may not have had the chance to practice with it as you have with your little upstart, there, but I can assure you that our numbers more than make up for it."

Koizumi's expression changed to something more cocky and dangerous than I was used to. "We'll see," he said, and with a flash of red he was in their midst, energy spamming like someone out of a shonen action show. She was right, though. He was able to knock a few out in his initial attack, but two of them managed to pin him down while the lead girl in pigtails hit him with a powerful beam, knocking him back. It didn't knock him out, but it put him off balance enough for them to repeat the maneuver again and again. It was an undeniable cheese tactic.

The two espers held Koizumi down with arcs of energy while the leader gloated in the classic villainous manner. "You have no chance to win," she said. "Make your peace."

Koizumi was breathing heavily, obviously unable to struggle any further. However, Haruhi was less willing to back down. "Hey, Koizumi!" she shouted. "What are you doing? This is the part where you're supposed to pull out all the stops and show your true power! You can't let yourself lose to a bunch of mooks!"

"True power?" the girl laughed. "That's ridiculous. The powers of the Organization are exactly as you've seen. They have no secret transformation. This isn't some anime."

Koizumi, however, resumed his struggle against the holding beams of the two other espers. They increased their power output, crushing him down to the ground, but it seemed that Haruhi's "pep talk" had had some kind of effect on him. I was, however, still a little startled when his aura shifted into the yellow part of the spectrum. The arcs that had been holding him suddenly turned back on their casters, knocking them down, and Koizumi stood, his right hand raised as if he were presenting it to the leader of his rival group.

"This hand of mine," he said. "Is shining gold. It's insistent cry tells me to seize triumph!" He cocked his open hand. "Exploding, blazing palm!" The pigtailed girl squealed as golden light washed over her. The light faded and Koizumi's aura completely vanished. His smoking body collapsed to the ground, heaving with exhaustion.

"Koizumi!" Haruhi cried, running to him and kneeling beside him. "That... that was completely awesome! You should have told me you could do that before."

Koizumi looked sheepishly at his brigade leader. "I'm sorry, but it would have ruined the mystery." He looked at me, his eyes flashing his fatigue momentarily. "Kyon... you have to get in there. The growth of this Super Sealed Reality slowed after absorbing this one's, but it's only bought us a little more time. Whatever is causing this is at the heart of Haruhi's home."

I nodded. "Haruhi, will you stay here and watch Koizumi?"

"Of course," she said, and with that I was dashing for Haruhi's door. Barging in, I saw that the inside no longer matched the outside. It looked like a palace made of pearl or ivory or whatever shiny white substance it could be. I rushed down the opulent halls, looking for any sign of life. I quickly stumbled upon a large ballroom with two staircases leading upward. More than that, there were hundreds of people there dressed in fancy Western Renaissance clothes. They were dancing.

"What is going on?" I asked.

"Kyon!"

I turned and saw Haruhi... in a white wedding dress. Apparently, the affectionate Haruhi had also wound up here.

"After you disappeared, I thought I'd come back home, but it was all... well... like this," she said. "This is crazy." Her face looked happy, though. "D'you think we somehow slid to another dimension where I'm filthy rich? Maybe we'll meet an alien!"

That sounded right. I looked around and recognized many of the faces as those from our school. They didn't seem to find anything strange about the situation, so were most likely constructs of some sort like those human-like Shinjin the delinquent Haruhi had conjured. Speaking of whom, I quickly spotted someone who definitely fit in less with this crowd than I.

"Outta my way, you weirdos," another Haruhi with an ill-fitting uniform was saying as she shoved the dancers out of her way. "Kyon!" she growled as she spotted me. "What's going on? Did you do this?"

I don't know how she could have possibly gotten the idea that I had anything to do with this.

"Listen, I know the allure of a powerful woman is hard to resist," she went on. "Still this is not the way to impress me. Who the Hell do you think I am that I would want to have some kind of fancy ball?"

"M-m-miss Suzumiya..." a familiar voice said from behind the delinquent. "Please, let's not make a scene..." It was, of course, that delicate sakura Miss Asahina, the woman to whom all my efforts were devoted. This was the more demure, younger version, of course. She looked at me and blushed. "Ah... Kyon-kun... I..." her gaze shifted past me and she gasped. "Kyon!"

I turned and saw the familiar smirk of that sneering, time traveling bastard. In his hand he held some kind of weapon. "Goodnight," he said, voice dripping with malice. His finger pulled the trigger. There was no time for me to dodge; he was only a few steps from me.

A figure in a red dress was suddenly between us, however, and I heard the sneering bastard scream just as the woman between us screamed. She and that guy both collapsed to the ground. I saw what she had done. The weapon had been a tazer, and this woman had taken the attack meant for me, but had grabbed onto the man, turning the current back through him.

"E-eh?" Miss Asahina stammered. "Who... who was that...?"

The woman was masked, but I could tell by her body that it was Miss Asahina's older self. I wouldn't tell Miss Asahina (small) that, of course. Haruhi had apparently gotten the same idea, though she didn't know the time traveler's true identity. "It's her," she said. "She was a worthy opponent." She nodded sagely.

"H-hold on," Haruhi (affectionate) said. "Who are you?" She pointed at Haruhi (delinquent). "You aren't my interdimensional double are you? Are you the person who owns this palace?"

"What are you talking about?" Haruhi (delinquent) asked. "And why do you look like me? And why are you wearing a wedding dress?" She looked at me. "D-don't tell me..."

It wasn't my idea. In any case, this wasn't the time to question things. All this was nothing but a tactic for distraction, I was sure. We had to search for the heart of the problem. We had to get up those stairs.

"I-I'll stay behind," Miss Asahina said. "I'm sorry, but I would feel bad leaving her here like this..."

I had no problem with this. I didn't want Miss Asahina anywhere near the danger we would undoubtedly face. I plowed through the crowd, leading the two Haruhies behind me. We ran up the stairs and down the long hall that met us at the top. There was a huge, fancy door at the end which I took to be some kind of throne room. Only throne rooms would have such a fancy door.

I leaped at the door and crashed my foot on it, intent on kicking it down in a dramatic fashion. However, I ended up doing nothing but hurting my foot. "Augh! It... it must be locked!"

"Or," Haruhi (delinquent) said. "Maybe it just opens the other way." She pulled on the handle and the door opened easily. I felt slightly emasculated, admittedly. However, there was no use being embarrassed at a time like this. We entered and, as I had expected, we were greeted by an absolutely gigantic room with a glass dome for a roof, showing the beautifully ominous sky, and a throne at the other end.

"I'm glad to see you could finally join us, Kyon," a person sitting on the throne said. "You're late. Penalty!"

I gawked. The person on the throne was none other than Haruhi, decked out in a very flattering white outfit that looked like a magical sailor fuku. Her hair was just as long as the day I'd first laid eyes on her, and was done up in a wild style that included six tails of varying type—braided, loose, and looped. More surprising than this was when I noticed that Nagato and a Haruhi dressed up properly in her school uniform were already there.

"H-hey," Haruhi (affectionate) said. "What's Nagato doing here... and with more... 'me's? Has... someone been cloning me?"

"Don't be stupid," Haruhi (studious) said from Nagato's side. "If we were clones, we wouldn't be the same age unless we were cloned when we were born, and we certainly wouldn't have similar memories."

"Well, you know, with sufficiently advanced technology..." Haruhi (affectionate) said.

"It would be possible," Nagato said, "If an unnecessary and ultimately futile drain on resources. However, this is not the case."

"That's right," the crazy haired Haruhi said. "In fact, you three plus the one coming through my palace right now are shards of my personality that were split upon my ascension to godhood!" She placed her hands on her hips and smirked down at us.

"'Godhood'?" Haruhi (adventurous) said. "That sounds like a crock. I may be awesome and hardcore, but I'm not a god."

"Did I say 'you'?" the goddess Haruhi asked. She pointed to a white armband she was wearing which was emblazoned with the kanji for "king of heaven." "I and I alone have the power of god at my command!" She giggled. "Basically, anything I wish for will come true."

"She is correct in her analysis," Nagato said. "Her will is beyond even the Integrated Data Sentient Entity's reproach."

I didn't get this. So there was a Haruhi who had already realized what she was walking around? Then keeping up the whole masquerade had been pointless?

"It wasn't so simple," she said. "You see, if I had been the same as I was a week ago and realized this power, I may have used it indiscriminately to recreate the world. However, my internal conflict forced me to evolve to enlightenment. Excitement, fantasy, academics, and relationships... these are all fine, but you can't indulge in one while disregarding the others. There has to be balance—a middle path." She raised a finger and said sagely, "It's a difficult thing to do... unless you're an all powerful being!" She clenched her fist and punched into the air. "And that's when it came to me. All of a sudden I realized that I had the power, and two fragments of my personality came into being as test subjects. That way I could observe how each acted at their individual extremes! Of course, I allowed them to split again into four, which made things much simpler."

"Simpler?" I wondered. "How?"

"It limited their power."

I turned and saw Koizumi leaning on Haruhi (otaku). "Yeah," that Haruhi said. "It's simple divide and conquer tactics."

Haruhi (goddess) raised an eyebrow. "Hey, Koizumi. What do you think you're doing? As my new chief archangel, you shouldn't be divulging secrets."

"My apologies, Lady Suzumiya," he said. "However, I don't really know anything about this. It's just my theory."

Haruhi (goddess) gave us a catty smile. "That sounds interesting. What do you think, big guy?"

"Ah, well," Koizumi said. "You are correct when you say you possess the powers of the original Suzumiya... however, each of these four also possess that power. You, much like the Haruhi who strove for the unique and the Haruhi who strove for normalcy, are a fragment of the original Haruhi."

"Ridiculous!" Haruhi (goddess) said. "I am the original. These four were simply created out of my need find the right path."

"Incorrect," Nagato said. "Each of these four were recorded by the Integrated Data Sentient Entity as possessing the same data creation abilities as yourself, though with less precision."

"Yuki-chan..." Haruhi (goddess) said with warning in her voice.

"Therein lay the problem," Koizumi said, shrugging and shaking his head. "You, unlike the original two we encountered and the four that now exist, are not so much a deviation in personality as you are that part of Haruhi which realizes that she is not the same as other human beings. In a word, you are Haruhi's subconscious self. You were right in saying the other four exist to find the right path for Haruhi... however, you did not create them. You were created to allow them to find the right path without being forced to face their true natures. Those layered Sealed Realities and the coincidences that kept these four from meeting even without our interference... that was your doing. It was because that was your primary objective."

"You're completely off base," Haruhi (goddess) said, crossing her arms in an x-shape. "That's not how it is at all. I did do those things, but it was part of a plan. They could still have interfered with me if they'd started to create their own Sealed Realities before I was ready. Furthermore, as two fragments they were still too strong for me to handle."

Nagato chimed in. "Actually, as four fragments their data was too unstable to create a Sealed Reality that could effect anything in any lasting manner. You, also, would be unable to create a Sealed Reality powerful enough to truly change things. Once you, Kyon, released their will from the Realities they created, however, she was able to take them over and merge them with her own reality, thus creating a Sealed Reality powerful enough to engulf the universe."

"Hey, Yuki-chan," Haruhi (goddess) protested. "What is this? How do you know about all that?"

"The Integrated Data Sentient Entity has been aware of the facts for some time. However, I was kept ignorant of this until recently, when it was deemed that we would intentionally spring your trap in order to gather the data necessary to ensure our best interests."

"Wow," Haruhi (otaku) said. "I never thought I'd be happy to see someone metagaming."

Haruhi (goddess), however, didn't seem so pleased. "I'm afraid this Game Master doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior. Yuki-chan, you've brought the wrath of the banhammer!" She raised her hand and a strong wind seemed to blow Nagato's hair and clothing back. She remained expressionless, however, as she was tossed back and seemed to melt through the wall, disappearing from sight.

"Holy crap," Haruhi (adventurous) said.

"My thoughts, exactly," Haruhi (studious) concurred.

"This is my reality!" Haruhi announced boldly. "I control everything that happens here, and everything that exists here. If you don't follow my rules, then it'll be a penalty for you."

The rules, apparently, being don't upset Haruhi. That was just like her, though, going off on a tantrum when things didn't go her way. Honestly, she could be such a child, sometimes.

"We _are_ children!" she objected. I was a bit surprised, because I was pretty sure I hadn't said that part.

"Did you not here me just now?" Haruhi asked. "I can control reality, what makes you think I can't read your inner monologue? By the way, it's kind of weird how you put '(whoever) said' after everything anyone says."

Well, excuse me, goddess. Anyway, that wasn't the point of the matter. Haruhi had to stop this foolishness. Life wasn't just some game she could hack at will. Didn't she think about what her friends might be feeling?

"Of course I do," Haruhi said. "I brought you all here to share in my glory! I'll make sure you're all provided for. Anything you desire will be yours, because you've been the ones who have been there for me when I was still weak and stupid."

"Hey," Haruhi (studious) said.

"That sounded like a challenge," Haruhi (adventurous) said.

"I won't argue with that," Haruhi (otaku) said.

"Do I really sound like that much of a bitch?" Haruhi (affectionate) said.

Koizumi stroked his chin. "Which makes me wonder... what _will_ become of your... fragments?"

"I don't need them, anymore," Haruhi (goddess) said. "I'll reabsorb their power and dispose of them."

"What?" I asked, outraged. "You can't! Fragments or whatever, these are still individuals with their own thoughts and personalities! You can't just dispose of them."

"Fine," Haruhi said. "In my new world, I'll just make them identical quadruplets with their own personalities and memories." She laughed. "Heck, maybe I'll even make them your wives. That would make you all happy, right? Yes, I'm sure it would! Who _wouldn't_ be happy with a harem of girls exactly like me?"

I sighed. "That's not what I meant... if you change their memories, they also won't be Haruhi... don't you think we might miss a Haruhi who didn't know she was some kind of all-powerful reality warper?"

"Or don't you mean you'll be bored without a goddess to keep your little secrets from?" Haruhi said. She turned her back from us and raised her hand to the sky. "No... it's time. Time to create a new world that pleases me. And you should be grateful for what you get!"

"I can feel it," Koizumi said. "The Sealed Reality. It's overtaking the whole planet..." I saw him clench his fist and his expression changed to one of frightening determination. He stepped away from Haruhi (otaku) and raised his fist, red energy crackling around it. "Please, forgive me." He lobbed a ball of energy at Haruhi (goddess) which whistled through the air like a bomb.

Haruhi (goddess) didn't turn, but brought her hand back to slap the energy bomb away. I blinked, and she was gone, having apparently leaped behind Koizumi. "You're demoted!" she said behind him, and placed the flat of her palm on his back. "Cherubim!" His body seemed to turn to stone and he sunk into the floor.

"I'm tired of you!" Haruhi (adventurous) said, recklessly leaping at her, fists flying wildly. Haruhi (goddess) decked her with a well placed right cross, knocking her out.

"Gyah! Vulcan neck pinch!" Haruhi (otaku) screamed, grabbing Haruhi (goddess) by the neck.

"You're doing it wrong!" the victim of said pinch replied, grabbing Haruhi (otaku) by her neck. The otaku's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed. Apparently, that first one had been too high on the neck.

Haruhi (studious) surprisingly jumped in with a flying kick, and exchanged an impressive series of kung fu moves with her godly counterpart.

"K-Kyon!" Haruhi (affectionate) squealed. "You've got to stop her!" She turned to me with fire in her eyes. "I believe in you with everything I've got! You can do it!" Then she dashed into the fray, grabbing Haruhi (goddess)'s hair and tugging on it, leaving Haruhi (goddess) open for a kick from Haruhi (studious). However, this Haruhi had the advantage here, and tossed Haruhi (affectionate) over her shoulder and onto Haruhi (studious). She then threw them into the wall with some kind of telekinetic power, though they merely bounced off the wall unconscious rather than went through it as Nagato had.

"There... now that they're taken care of I can finish this."

"Hold it," I said.

"Don't even try it?" she said. "You're just wasting your time." She walked up to her throne and raised her hands, and the light that shone through the skylight increased. "It's almost done, now, and then there won't be any going back."

"You'll be bored."

"What?"

"You'll be bored, Haruhi. In spite of this power you have, you're still human. The one thing that's true about all humans is that they all struggle. More than that, in the absence of struggle, they will lose the will to live. Having a world in which your every whim is granted? It would kill you."

"You don't know what you're talking about. Why wouldn't I be happy with having anything I want? I could have excitement and challenges to test me if I wanted. I could create them!"

"Could you ever create an obstacle that even you couldn't overcome? Wouldn't it all just be going through the motions? You would know you could always get rid of anything in your way. You would know everything and there would be no mystery. Even in terms of love and friendship, you could always create your own perfect friends and lovers, couldn't you? Or simply make anyone like you."

Haruhi paused for a moment. "Yes. I probably could."

"Why do you think the original Haruhi created you, who could keep her other selves from discovering what they were? Because, deep inside, you know it just wouldn't be any fun."

"Shut up," she said gruffly, turning to me. "I've already made my choice." She turned to me. "You'll see me on the other side, Kyon." She walked toward me and put her hands on my shoulders. "Don't be afraid, okay?"

She pulled me down and pressed her lips against my cheek. The light was blinding now.


	7. Epilogue

**Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun  
**_(The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya)_

Epilogue:

It was a typical Friday morning, and I was happy that this would be the last time I would have to hike up North High's arduous hill this week. However, I was almost sad to see the week end. Haruhi had been unusually pleasant just about the whole week. She and I had even gone together to a manga shop the other day, and it had actually been pleasant aside from the strange man in the green hat that insisted on shouting selling points at us. I was strangely looking forward to seeing the Brigade Chief, today.

I managed to get to school early that morning, and when I opened my locker to change my shoes, I found a note. I opened it hesitantly. The writing inside was prim and feminine, and very familiar. This could only belong to Miss Asahina. Could it be a love letter? No, no that would be too auspicious an occurrence.

_Kyon,_

_Please meet me at the bench in the park after the SOS Brigade meeting. Also, when you finish reading this letter, please turn around calmly and greet Mikuru-chan and Tsuruya-san._

I turned around slowly and was unsurprised to find Miss Asahina and her friend Tsuruya walking by. "Er… hello, Miss Asahina. Miss Tsuruya."

"Hey, Kyon-kun!" Tsuruya said a little more loudly than was necessary. "Sorry again about Sunday…"

"No, it's alright," I assured her. I was just happy we were able to talk Haruhi out of taking us up on that plane again. We all went out for ice cream instead, and it was a much better use of our time. Thankfully, Haruhi seemed to have forgotten about her little foray into extreme sports soon afterward.

"Next time we get together, maybe we should just watch the sakura bloom, eh?" Tsuruya said, bursting into laughter.

"Y-yes," Miss Asahina said quietly. "I think that would be nice."

I wasn't able to stay and chat long, of course. It was soon time for class, and I didn't want to be late. I settled into my desk and out of habit looked back at Haruhi. She looked a bit melancholy… or perhaps just wistful. Regardless, she was definitely more subdued. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but class had started so I would have to wait.

When our first break did come, I said, "Hey, Haruhi, you look like you have something on your mind."

Haruhi looked at me with a weird expression. "Oh… um, I was just thinking of last week. You know, we ought to do that again sometime. It was fun. And you dance better than I would have expected."

Yeah, that had been an odd evening. Haruhi had heard rumors of a haunted house on the outskirts of town, and—Haruhi being Haruhi—she had insisted that we go to investigate. That would have been relatively normal, but she had also made us dress up in ridiculous outfits more appropriate for a 16th century European court than looking around some house. She had even abducted me early and took me to be fitted appropriately, just to make sure. Seeing the three girls of our club, especially the divine Miss Asahina, dressed in such exotic clothing was very interesting, however, to say the least.

When we arrived at the house, Haruhi then insisted that we dance together. She had said that it was a ruse for the ghost—that any self respecting ghost wouldn't just show up for a group of people actually looking for it. So we had a dance party complete with music provided by a very expensive looking stereo brought by Mr. Suck-up himself, Itsuki Koizumi. I didn't complain much as it did allow me time to be so physically close to my most beautiful and pure angel. I did complain when Haruhi decided I was enjoying it too much and cut in. I certainly had difficulty enjoying it with her. Who was she to lead like that, anyway?

"I don't know why you wanted to have a… a ball of all things," I said finally.

Haruhi beamed. "I got the idea when I won some tickets to a ball last week. I decided it would be too boring to go to any normal ball, but if we did it in a haunted house, it might end up being fun."

That might be true, but wouldn't such a thing have been better suited for something like Halloween? That was a time when dressing up and going to haunted houses was considered normal. Maybe if she could just confine her behavior to the appropriate holidays, she would be alright. Then again, given how she handled Tanabata four years ago, it might not be surprising to find that holiday celebrations for her were simply a challenge to go beyond her normal weirdness.

"Oh, and I just wanted to remind you that my offer to tutor you is still open," she said nonchalantly.

"I think I'll pass," I said. I cringed when she gave me a look that told me she wasn't going to let this go. Thankfully, she seemed willing to forget about it for now. The rest of the day proceeded with a similar and comfortable level of dullness, until classes were finally over, and all that was left was to meet for our daily SOS Brigade meeting.

I arrived to Koizumi chatting about some nonsense with Haruhi. "I can understand that it can be very upsetting for some, but such plots have the crucial advantage of giving us the opportunity to develop a character or characters in a different context without having stick to any permanent ramifications of the plot required to cause such characterization."

"Well, I don't care!" Haruhi said with a pout. "Those 'just a dream' and other reset button stories really stick in my craw. It's like… what's the point in having all these awesome plot developments if it's all just erased like that. It's an insult to the discerning consumer!"

"Well," Itsuki said. "A story isn't just about plot development…"

"I don't care. If an episode of anime doesn't advance the plot in any way, it's just filler."

I did my best to ignore the incessant natter, and took a seat. Nagato was there reading her book as usual, though I noticed she paused for a moment and gave me what I would have to interpret as a thoughtful glance.

Miss Asahina served tea as usual, and as usual it was heavenly. I ended up embroiled in another board game with Koizumi during the course of our meeting, in which I trounced the esper soundly, while Haruhi seemed content to chat up the stammering Miss Asahina and Nagato. That was a bit surprising, as she usually kept to herself until she had orders to deliver, but as I said Haruhi had been acting more pleasant lately, though her conversations still inevitably centered on weirdness in general.

The meeting ended as Nagato slapped her book shut. Four of us filed out of the classroom as Miss Asahina stayed behind to change back into her normal attire. As we left, Nagato pulled on the sleeve of my blazer and I turned, almost expecting to see a shy, lonely look on her face like the one I had seen this past winter in that other reality, but her look held nothing but serious business as was typical. She handed me a book and said, "Read this, please," and then walked away down the hall. This didn't seem good. First a mysterious letter from what was probably the future Miss Asahina and now Nagato was giving me what was likely to be another bookmark note.

I sighed in resignation and turned to Koizumi, who waved at me with that foxy grin on his face. "What is it with you?" I asked.

"I don't know what you mean," he said evenly, obviously knowing exactly what I meant.

"Alright, you two," Haruhi said authoritatively. "Move along. I don't want you pervs hanging around while Mikuru is changing."

She was one to talk. She was the one to usually undress poor Miss Asahina by force. Her perverted nature was well known to everyone in school. Nonetheless, I had other things to do, so I acquiesced to her request and turned to leave.

"Hey, wait a minute Kyon!"

I turned back to look at Haruhi, who had called after me urgently. I wondered if she forgot something, but I really had no idea why she would need to call me back.

"Ara…" Haruhi said with a perplexing look of hesitation on her face. Well? What was it? She was tongue tied for several seconds, though it seemed like minutes. Then her face got that goofy expression she got when she thought of something "fun" to do and she began waving like a maniac over her head. "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!"

Was that a joke? That was pretty lame. I waved back laughing weakly before turning again to leave. Koizumi followed closely behind, and when we were out of earshot of Haruhi, he spoke up.

"What _has_ been happening between you and Haruhi this week?" he asked.

It had been nothing Koizumi didn't know about, already, of course. She was being less obnoxious, but there was nothing else going on at all.

"Well, it seems there were a couple… disturbances in the past week. Large Sealed Realities that nonetheless seemed to collapse before anyone from the Organization could intercept them."

"And you think I would know anything about this?" I asked.

Koizumi sighed and shook his head. "It can't be denied that you have the greatest effect out of anyone on Haruhi's emotional state. There is only one real question here. What has happened to cause this. Further, what do these large but short lived anomalies mean? Will they continue? Are they harbingers of doom?"

That was more than one question. In any case, I couldn't help him out with that. There was absolutely nothing I could point to in the past week that would have caused anything like this to occur. Of course, trying to interpret Haruhi's emotional state was like trying to interpret the future in the cracks of bones.

"I see," Koizumi said. "Well, I'm disappointed but I can't say I'm surprised. Even I was unable to discern any behavior that would indicate the stress that would cause a Sealed Reality to form. She has seemed more… relaxed and happy recently. Perhaps this is an indication of her accepting reality as it is, though we can never truly be certain of that."

"Maybe," I said. "If that means no more threat of apocalypse if we get one crazy chick miffed, then I won't cry too much."

"Regardless," Koizumi said, "We will monitor this situation as it develops. Hopefully the Organization's worst fears are unfounded."

When we exited the school, Koizumi and I went our separate ways. I oriented myself toward the park, and considered the book Nagato had given me. It was a thinner book than her usual fair, though it was science fiction, which was unsurprising. I opened it and found a bookmark there. On it was Nagato's incredibly neat, almost mechanical handwriting. It seemed a pretty standard summons.

I arrived at the park to find an older woman sitting at that fateful bench. She was familiar in the way an old friend was after twenty years. This was definitely Miss Asahina's future self, and she greeted me with a warm smile. It was not a smile I returned easily, as I was still upset with her for manipulating poor Miss Asahina (small). Perhaps it was odd to be angry with her for being unkind to her past self, as she would be the one to understand more than anyone what her younger self was going through. However, I still felt upset on principle.

"Hello, Kyon-kun," she said. "Please, sit down."

I sat.

"I'm not sure exactly what happened, but it seems everything has turned out well."

"What are you talking about?"

"The events of the last week," Miss Asahina said. "That alternate timeline seems to have become closed again. Everything is happening as it should."

"Well… that's good to know," I said. "But what is this about an alternate timeline?"

"So you don't remember?" Miss Asahina asked with a genuinely baffled look on her face. "How interesting. Of course, the knowledge we gained from the experience has been classified to all our past selves in order to preserve the timeline. I suppose it's better like this." She seemed, however, to fidget a bit, and looked as if she were fighting back an urge to grin. "You're sure you don't remember? The ball? The bathroom? … 'Kyon's Girl'?"

I sat up straight when she said that last part. I'd had strange dreams that I could recall only vaguely all week. I had tried to push some of the weirder ones out of my head, but that gaudy pink banner with "Kyon's Girl" emblazoned across it… that was burned into my memory. "How… did you know about that?"

Miss Asahina definitely let a smirk sneak out for a nanosecond this time. "I see. So was it just like a dream to you? I suppose Miss Suzumiya wanted it like this, then. Everything that's happened this week; everything that I initially remembered… it was all recreated as a middle path, as if the split had never occurred. At least, that's just a theory…"

That was nice. It seemed Miss Asahina (big) was becoming more like Koizumi.

Miss Asahina giggled modestly. "Here I am sounding more like Itsuki-kun every day." Her expression became more serious. "I suppose all you need to know, then, is that everything is fine now, for awhile. You shouldn't need to worry, at least not until…" She conked herself on the head. "Well, that's classified."

I gave her an irritated expression, but she only smiled back at me in that way that reminded me too much of Miss Asahina (small). Then we parted ways.

It wasn't far to the library from there. When I arrived, I found Nagato waiting for me inside, just as her note had said she would be. She didn't speak to me until after she had checked out a large pile of books and given them to me to take out.

"Haruhi's data creation," she said when we had exited the building, me carrying her stack of books in my arms. Why did she have to check out so many, anyway? "It has been deleted and all overwritten data has been restored."

I looked quizzically at the bookish girl beside me. "Excuse me?"

Nagato glanced sidelong at me. "Yesterday morning, Haruhi Suzumiya created a new world. It was a world more in keeping with her ideal, in which she was a true goddess who could will anything she wanted into existence."

"Do you mean to say that the world was destroyed?" I asked.

"In a manner of speaking," Nagato replied. "For a whole day Haruhi ruled over existence. She gave all of her friends everything they wanted." For a moment I could have sworn her eyes glazed over in something like wistfulness. "However, as she looked down on what she had created… she was overtaken by melancholy."

"What?" I said in surprise. "Why? She could have anything she wanted. Why would she be sad?"

Nagato remained silent for a moment. "I believe… it may be a confirmation of your hypothesis. The you that existed for the six days after the vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya, that is."

"The… huh?" I said. She was being completely incomprehensible and I honestly couldn't understand what she was talking about. What about "the vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya"? What hypothesis?

"In brief," Nagato said calmly. "Haruhi Suzumiya, being in complete control of her data manipulation and creation abilities, discovered that her human self obstructionist drives rendered her unfulfilled emotionally."

"Oh," I said. "I can understand that."

Nagato seemed to size me up in that impassive manner she has. "Of course." She looked back ahead of us as we continued to walk down the sidewalk. "From the compilation of data collected by the IDSE, it has been determined that Haruhi Suzumiya's desire for conflict was incompatible with her knowing control of all data around her. Because of this, after one day she deleted the data of the new universe and recovered the data of the old universe."

"Wait… so… how was she able to do that?" I asked. "How do you know she got everything right if she just remade everything?"

"She did not create a replica," Nagato said. "Instead, it seems that the data of the old universe still remains in some form when it is overwritten, though it is impossible to access it normally. Restoring the old universe in this case is similar to retrieving data from a formatted hard drive."

"Okay," I said. I was beginning to understand what she was talking about, thankfully. "But what about our memories of the past week?"

"Haruhi Suzumiya's fabricated the memories of those involved in the matter to fit with a universe in which she did not split into five separate entities."

"So that was real…" I said. The memories were like a dream and very incomplete, but I could definitely remember something about a bunch of different weird Haruhies. "I thought it was a dream."

"Haruhi Suzumiya's ability to overwrite your memory for some reason is incomplete," Nagato said. I do not know if this due to some inherent ability you have to resist her power or if it is merely due to Haruhi not wanting you to completely forget. My own memory was erased completely, but the IDSE was unaffected; therefore, the missing information was supplemented by the entity. Those in the future were unaffected, as well, but everyone else's memories have been completely replaced, including Haruhi Suzumiya's own."

"Wow," I said. "That's… pretty wild."

"Indeed."

"So did Haruhi really sleep in my bed?"

"She was quite forward," Nagato confirmed. "I believe the armband may have been what is called 'over the top'."

"Did… Did Koizumi really go Super Sai—"

"I believe the time for questions is over," Nagato said abruptly, pointing to her apartment building. "If you would like to discuss this at a later time that would be acceptable, but now it is time for you to go home and complete your studies."

"Wha? Bu—"

Nagato's gaze had an underlying intensity when she looked my way. "Haruhi Suzumiya would be very unhappy should you fail in your exams."

I laughed weakly and agreed, waving goodbye as I headed toward my own home. I wouldn't think much about the incident after that, and in fact the memory of it faded over time until I'd nearly forgotten. It wasn't until much later that I would remember it again.

That was when I would discover a small pink armband hanging out of Haruhi's bag.


End file.
